Thursday, September 11, 2008
Remembering
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Where did that smile go
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
You had a bad day...
I have been having a bad week.
Things that are hard to look past.
Conversations that needed to be had.
Issues that still aren't resolved.
And the other party is pretending there is nothing wrong.
Am I wrong to not want to let this sleeping dog lie? Or shall I leave it for now and hope for the best?
A question I will have to sleep on.
Thanks for listening (nay, reading)!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Two awards from my pal Heidi (blushing)

Thank you Heidi! And ditto!!
And Johanna & Joanna:

Thank you Heidi! I have a motto - if you smile, no one will know you are really: mad, sad, crabby - whatever. So smile - they uses less muscles than a frown and don't cause wrinkles in bad places!
The "Smile Award" has some rules - but they are easy - if you are already smiling, you have already passed the test! Heidi asked that the people who receive these awards visit the awarders (not a real word? I don't care, I'm smilin' so I can make a few mistakes!).
Now, the characteristics for the Smile Award are:
1. Must display a cheerful attitude. (not necessarily at all times–we are all human).
2. Must love one another.
3. Must make mistakes. (hey I just met that characteristic! Whew!)
4. Must learn from others.
5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world. (I don't know if I met this one...)
6. Must love life.
7. Must love kids.
There are rules attached... Here are they are:
1. The recipient must link back to the awards creator (The Babblings of Mere).
2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.
3. You must choose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself.
4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award (see above). (not sure if I met this one...)
5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.
6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.
7. You must thank your giver.
I am choosing to pass these awards on to 5 very special bloggers (you will find they are five of my favorite haunts). As to not pick favorites among them, I am going to list them in the order they appear on my RSS Feeds this morning:
1. A woman after my own heart. She has been through more in the past few months, yet still held strong to her faith. She has brought thousands - and yes, I mean thousands - together to not only rally for her and her baby, but also to rally for a greater cause - MckMama at My Charming Kids is very worthy of both of these awards!
2. I just met Katie at Overflowing Brain this week. But she is addicting and inspiring. At 25 she has been through so much more than anyone that age should have to. She is cynical like me - which makes me adore her even more - and she is very open about it. That makes me smile! She already has me on the edge of my seat as I watch hurricanes come marching in like ants in a storm (I'm sorry, but I now have the song in my head).
... clearing mind of "the ants go marching one by one..." ...
Ok, back...
3. This next blogger is new to my bloggy haunts, but I cannot get enough of her! Her humor, and her love of her boys makes me smile, and makes me giggle uncontrollably! She also lives in a really rockin' area of this country - Serena at Zip & Tizzy will make your day - and the pictures of her boys (usually hidden by something adorned on their heads) will warm your heart.
4. Jessica at Thoughtful Reflections makes me think. Sometimes harder than I want to. Sometimes in such a humorous way that I nearly pee my pants -what is it with White Vans anyway? She can get really deep, or she can be a wealth of knowledge. Sometimes she is just really funny.
5. Fadkog over at For A Different Kind of Girl - well I stalk her. And I adore her. She is naughty, and biting, and naughty, but oh so nice. And she says it like it is. And the love for her boys and tool man - unmeasurable (double e intended). Her writing style blows my mind. She makes me smile, and that is what is all about.
So there you have it. I have quite a few others that I would like to give these to, but since it said 5, I will follow the rules laid before me.
And if I could "backs" these awards, I would give them back to Heidi - but since someone beat me to the punch, instead I will leave her with this:

Friday, September 5, 2008
30 Seconds
All it took to bring tears to my eyes.
And a wave of memories rush over me at once.
Maybe because it has touched my life so closely.
My mother.
Myself.
My aunts - two of them.
My friends - countless.
People whose names I know well.
People whose names I may have never heard.
I stood up to Cancer.
Did you?
Will you?
It took only 30 seconds for the tears to flow. It took only 30 seconds for the memories to flood.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Name that body part

First day!


Check out the Thomas lunch bag - he was so excited to bring "cold lunch" to school today. He didn't speak one word to Mrs. R. when we went for conference on Tuesday. The ice breaker today? His Thomas lunch bag.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Ooops!
Friday, August 29, 2008
The return part 2...

A good pick?
I am not sure how I feel about John McCain choosing a dark horse female for his VP running mate.
It has nothing to do with the fact that my Governor wasn't chosen. I don't think he was the right choice anyway. The first few months he was in office he closed State Parks, Rest Area's and other public services to reduce the budget. Mind you most were re-opened within the first few years because it was met with such a horrible backlash.
Naming someone that hasn't been much on the radar makes me wonder. Was it done to even the proverbial playing field?
I have been so torn this election. I have always touted myself a Repub, but I have waivered most recently (ok, in the last 7 years) and no longer know where I stand.
But I am not seeing a lot of promise on either side...
Two nominee's who are limited in experience - whether themselves or their running mates.
I have said it before and will say it again... this election is looking more like a popularity contest than a Presidential race.
I add my name to the list of perplexed and undecided.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Another little bit of wonder
J: Sounds like God is up there bowl'n...
Me: Who do you think is winning?
J: Well God of course!
Me: Really? Why of course?
J: Because this isn't no ordinary game of bowl'n mom...
Me: I did not know that!
J: If it were an ordinary game of bowl'n maybe someone else would win.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The return, part 1

Sunday, August 24, 2008
The days I wish for the world to end
I just spent the afternoon with a friend, and we got to talking about you. About how most times friends dont get to know each others extended families - maybe their parents and siblings, but rarely their entire family. But because of you, many of my friends were blessed by your sweet memories, and by the knowledge of those you left behind. And they feel honored to have known you.
As do I.
I remember as a child I didn't respect your purpose. I didn't respect the person you were. It took us nearly 21 years to find out who each other was. We had good times before then, but the respect and friendship didn't come until much later. I thank God everyday that I had those last 10 years to make up for the first 20.
When we were talking about you today, something she said to me struck me. It will be 7 years since I said good bye to you that night. Its been nearly 7 years since you followed me with your eyes, trying to tell me you were tired and ready to go to Him. Its been nearly 7 years since I got the call only 2 hours after I left your side telling me that you woke up, took one last breath, and left us... for now.
And it was up to me to make those first phone calls. First to your loving husband Bruce, and to gram, who was having difficulty sleeping that night. She knew. As only a mother could know. When I called my brother I could hear in his voice the sadness of not spending your last night with you; how could he have known. And then I called my father. The man who loved you for more than 30 years, but didn't recognize it until it was too late.
Telling your "Tinkerbell" was the hardest thing for me to do. She had just turned 4 4 days earlier. We had birthday cake in your room, but you were out cold so we don't know if you knew we were there. If you knew that we met one of your "goals" on your list. She had no idea what it meant for someone to die. So we told her that we put your bed in a box for your body, but that your soul was in Heaven with Jesus. I don't think she really understood until several years later. But she will never forget you.
This week Lainie stayed at our house overnight. Mantha got down your "dog" Lucky and told Lainie Lucky's story. How when we found out the Cancer was back, you were in a room with a lady who had this stuffed dog that looked so real, that everyone had to look twice. The lady heard the doctors talking to us about your fate; as she left the hospital, she laid Lucky at the foot of your bed with a big pink feather boa around its neck and told you that Lucky would take care of you. And for the next two months, Lucky never left your sight.
And now she resides in Tinkerbell's room.
In six weeks it will be 7 years. I know I will never forget you. I know that many days I still cry for you. I know that each year that passes brings me one year closer to you. But it doesn't make the pain easier.
These are the days I wish for the world to end. So I can be with you once again.
Shooting and explosions
Friday, August 22, 2008
And they're off...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I get my baby back, baby back, baby back...
I cannot believe that there is only one more week of summer vacation and then school starts!
Friday, August 15, 2008
To book club or not to book club



Hands down the best series I have ever read is the Left Behind Series - the first 12 books:
Just recently LaHaye and Jenkins released the prequels as well as the supposed final book, Kingdom Come:

If you have not read this series, let me tell you, while they are about the Tribulations and God's battle with Satan, they are not so heavily weighted with religion that you feel you are reading Bible verse, but rather they are suspenseful - edge of your seat can't put them down, read most of them in less than a weekend kind of books.
So back to the point of this post. I have been invited to join two different book clubs here in my "little" town (I say little because many of you say you live in "small" towns, but your towns are 15,000 populations plus, and mine isn't even 5,000!) but I haven't committed to either.
My fear of commitment relates to how picky I am about my books. I don't like smut and love stories or self help books. I like technically challenging, thought provoking, action, drama, mysterious, read this clue to solve the puzzle who did it books. I like intrigue. I like historical reference (like Judas Strain is based on Marco Polo's adventures for Kublai Kahn - real or not, it sure is interesting).
But I also like to research whether or not I will like the book - because I don't rent books from the library, I don't buy them used, I pay full price and own all of the books that I read, and owning something I don't like is just not something I want to do (and trust me, I have purchased some real dogs!). Part of why I buy is so I can share my books with fellow readers.
So if I join one of these book clubs, I will be forced to read several books that I may or may not like - most likely books I wouldn't choose on my own.
But is that necessarily bad? Maybe it would give me the opportunity to read something I would really like that I would miss out on otherwise. But because my book list is at least a dozen long already, do I want to give them up for now? I cannot bring myself to read two books at once.
So again I beg the question... Do I jump in, or do I decline and continue to read what I like?
And what do you enjoy reading?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Wouldn't it be nice if we all smiled at once?
Wouldn't it be nice?
Wouldn't it be nice if just once when my husband was asked to do something he didn't want to do he would consider the person asking. Maybe they didn't want to ask. Maybe they knew he would get mad. Maybe they actually hated asking because they knew it wasn't fair. But still they had to because it was their job, and well, it was his too. So wouldn't it be nice if just once I didn't receive a phone call telling me how he "can't sit" because they "got him up his wazoo" again (insert your form of foul thoughts and language - I have to play it safe - my 10 year old might read my blog!).
In my nature of *trying* to find the positive in most things, I asked him if the next time they asked him to "go off the clock and onto percentage" (which means a huge cut in the pay for those days) for one run, that he do it without complaint. That he remember the motto I try to live by:
"One negative comment will last longer and spread faster than one positive comment"
Because this winter when justifiably he will have reason to complain for the lack of work, I will remind him that his negative attitude this summer is the reason for the theirs this winter.
And he still won't understand. Because he thinks I am wrong and that they have it out for him. And I "just don't understand how it is".
Oh but honey I do. Remember what I do for a living?
And you have the benny's, so please, don't lose the job!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
19 days, and Food and Emergency's
Pile it on...
Friday, August 8, 2008
Art gallery for MckMama
Over the past week, people have been writing his name in the sand all over the world. Now we are all writing it in whatever we can, in support of Stellan, and in prayer and reflection for his healing.
Jadon saw this when I was reading and decided that we needed to make one too. So this is what he and I did this afternoon, "Stellan 'Ala Thomas the Tank Engine'":
MckMama is posting the art work on her webpage, and will eventually create a larger piece of art from all of the submissions. So if you want to show your support, have a little fun doing it, and add your name to the list of ever growing people praying for Stellan, go to her site and email her! She will love it!!!!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008
Confessions of a TV junky
But.I just.cant.do.it.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Rewarding or spirit breaking?
That is the question I ask myself today as I sit behind the desk of my thankless NFP job (I have two other NFP jobs that are done behind this desk, but the one that pays me is the one I am ready to run away from).
I love(d) my job with passion and feverence. Until probably last month. Now it is a thorn in my already painful side. It has become a battle ground of sorts.
- There is the ever so recently frequent jabs from the Board Member who doesn't realize that while I do not get paid for a large portion of the hours I work because they insist that I keep something unncessary in my budget (something that most of my members don't want in my budget - but you know, they are just the people that matter!) that prevents this wonderous thing called a full time salary from happening - even though you expect me to put in full time hours.
- There is the grant I wrote that used up about 3,754 hours of unpaid time away from my family that consequentially WON AN AWARD for my community (thank you very much - now back off!) that carries a small cash bonus for which there is 1 group out of the 20 organizations I talked about that is insisting that they should get the money because they are the reason we won the award... Um, ok. I don't think that you single handedly made this community a wonderful place to live and breathe - what about the other 4,795 people who live here, and what about those other 19 organizations. Besides, your group just started, so tell me how you got us to where we are today? Just sayin.
- There is the lack of benny's which is eating away at me because of my recent health issues, and because my husbands line of work rely's on the oil market - for which he was most recently about $ .25 (diesel prices) away from not having a job - hence no insurance.
There are so many things about all three jobs that I love, that reward me tenfold, and make me extremely proud of my accomplishments. But the one that pays me is wearing me down. And in the economy we are living in, I don't see a lot of stability in it any longer. I already have members saying they may have to drop out next year because of cost cutting.
So it is rewarding enough to stay? Or is it breaking my spirit and giving me reasons to finally say "uncle"? That is the question I ask myself today as I sit behind the desk of one of my thankless NFP jobs...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Was that the left you said?
RRRRRrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttttt. Stop the bus baby because I am really about to lose it.
I am hoping that I am wrong, but in the case I am not, I have placed a call to my Urologist's service to ask him to look again at the KUB he took last week and have him quadruple check.
I know the left kidney still hurts, I mean DUH, there is still a 8mm x 3mm stone. But I would nearly swear that what I am feeling on the right side is not Fibro pain. Its just too plain ol' deep to be fibro.
Lets face it, the damage has been done, and the fact that he keeps bringing up "if we keep messing with it, we could lose the kidney" when discussing the current status of lefty, makes me become an over protective mama to righty.
Another day in the life of chronic pain. You just never know if it is "normal" or not.
Monday, August 4, 2008
A new drug calls for new prayers
Thank you!
PS: if you want to add her prayer button to your side bar, please visit here to get the code.
A fragment of my imagination
On a lighter note, peanut butter toast for nearly two weeks made all of my work pants a little more comfortable as I strapped them on to rejoin the land of the working hard for their money.
And if the vegan diet goes as my doctors plans, soon enough I will trade this tent for something a little bit smaller.
Friday, August 1, 2008
I like pink

I have to give props to the lady who drives this (of course when in the sun my camera will not capture the true color - we tried 4 or 5 times).
We looked up her business when we got back to the hotel. We are 99% sure this is who we saw get out of said spectical. I have decided that were we to move back to the Cities, she may just get our business, you know, because she is brave enough to drive a hot pink car! :)
On a sad note...
Today is the one year anniversary of the 35W bridge collapse. We don't live up here any longer, but I grew up in the cities, and travelled that section frequently throughout my life.
I was remembering that day as we arrived, and remembered the panic I felt when my friend Dayna called me from CA to ask if we were watching the news (which we were not). I called everyone I could think of, especially those who worked downtown to be sure they arrived home safely.
That same day, my step father Bruce had heart surgery at the hospital that most of the victims were being rushed to. We lost him a few months later.
We wish peace for those who fell victim, and for their families.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
And so the story goes...

I dont say that because I dont enjoy the parenting, I say it because I think I suck at being a mom to a daughter. I am a girly girl, and a perfectionist, and sometimes those extremes cause me to place too high expectations on her. Its the way I grew up. My mom and I were always in competition. I vowed I would never allow the same relationship to form with my daughter, but I fear it has already started to. I will continue to work on it.
Monday, July 28, 2008
If you pray - please add my friend to your prayers!
From MckMama:
"What I am about to give is not some blithe request or statement to pass time....really, from the bottom of my heart, I beseech you to pray for Stellan!!!"
Please visit: http://www.mycharmingkids.net/
Thank you!
I really appreciate it!
I love this website
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/
I am a fiend about spelling and grammar - in print. But when it comes to emails and blogs, I am not very good at following the correct format. I try. Sometimes I even click on spell check or google the spelling of things I don't spell frequently, but I cannot stand to use punctuation when I am typing notes, or journalling, or comments.
So even though I will covet Mignon and her desire to correct us all, and even though I use her for my professional career, I will not practice perfectly here.
Its just not what I aspire to do.
(see all the errors?)
The things people will do for money...
Sunday, July 27, 2008
The fine print
Thursday, July 24, 2008
They didn't say I couldn't
But seriously, in my defense, they never said I couldn't scrub my toilet.
Whats that?
Common sense?
Didn't you know they removed that after the first surgery? The rest was an all brainer, and they took it all out yesterday when they blasted me.
And all I have left to say is:
Y'OUCH! That hurts!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
A stones throw
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Vacation Pictures



As you can see, Daschel was getting a little envious of said bucket play

So the kids generously donated a miniature version of the red bucket
and he played and played and played with it... all weekend long.
Im pretty sure that you dont water ski on your face (see the ski on the left side of the wake?). I give Mantha kudo's for trying, but she seriously doubled her weight in water and lost interest immediately. She was a trooper tho!
I know for sure that you cant swim in sand, but it was so cute to watch that I didnt have a heart to tell Jadon that he wasnt going to get anywhere that way.
Dash loved the water. The breed is not a water dog, but apparently no one told him. We are hoping that this will make baths easier!
Built like momma, and decadent desserts too!
oY....Oy.... oY!
On to my other favorite subject:
The Club, Flowers and Dessert!
The Club had a Back Yards and Blooms Garden Tour last week. Along with the tour, the Club hosted a Decadent Dessert party, where local ladies made and donated the desserts and the recipes for us to provide for the after party. Below you may drool over the spectical of decadence, but please, restrain yourselves because we ate them all gone! Sorry!
The one you will notice is only halved in the photo because well, it was so good that it started going before the picture was taken. And please, dont judge me for the day old day lillies. I wasnt thinking.... Again, I am sorry!
Enjoy!
Tres Leches with fruit. Fresh Grapefruit Cake (this was to die for amazing, and I will share the recipe if you beg me).
Tres Leches, Fresh Grapefruit Cake, Tirimisu Torte (some idiot [me] cut it before the photo) and Chocolate Praline (this was the only dessert I didnt get to sample as I am allergic to most nuts).
There were at least a dozen other desserts that were equally as stunning to look at, but they were not in photographical states at the time that these pictures were taken.
If you are planning on visiting my neck of the woods next summer about this time, let me know, I will be sure to get you tickets and will reserve you something decadently tasty, yet amazingly calorie free!
It could be worse!
Monday, July 14, 2008
My baby is starting school in less than two months...
He is so happy, he can't wait to start. Pre-school was what he lived for this past year, and every morning when we drive past the elementary, he comments on what is changing (its being remodelled) and wonders how his Kindergarten room will be affected.
Addiction to get your undies in a bunch
Friday, July 11, 2008
The beauty in natures fury


Of course a photo does not do justice to how contrasting this scene was. The lower layer of clouds - which looked to almost touch the roof tops they are that low - ranged from orange to red to silver. They were moving east. The white thunder clouds were pretty much standing still, but building to the west. Some converged right over our heads. We heard a little thunder, but like most of the storms that have hit our corner of the state this month, we are unscathed. As I say this the wind is picking up, but the radar shows nothing, so I will not fret, and rather look at the beauty a little longer before the sun goes down.
If you are in this, or any other storms path, may your family stay safe!
Im just sayin'
I know, my opinion sucks, but its mine and I like it! :)
Thursday, July 10, 2008
What'ev
I want to fast track past security and get to comment nervana so I can join in the fun, but nooooooo, I have to put my finger on that stupid squeaky malfunctioning thing that doesnt like being called blue tooth (I think there is a trailer trash connotation in "blue tooth", but mister squeaky doesnt take to me making up excuses for why its ok to be bt), because apparently my security doesnt believe that "y" stands for "yes", and that if I go there all the time I should get a frequent shopper pass.
In my haste I struggle to spell, and am half blind so "what the" anyway is up with those stupid wavy smooshed together letters for verification. Why oh why??? I know, I make you do them too, but I do it out of spite. I will succumb to peer pressure, if you jump I will too and we can go into non verification bliss together.
Come on, I dare you!





