Its that time of year again when I become the parent to one child for a month. My oldest, Mantha, is packing her bags and is ready to climb aboard the magical mystery tour that takes her to her dad for a whole month. She is excited, so I try not to bring her down with my sadness, but its not fun to say good bye to your child for a month.
Not even when you think you are the worst person in the world to have been chosen as the mother of an almost tween.
I dont say that because I dont enjoy the parenting, I say it because I think I suck at being a mom to a daughter. I am a girly girl, and a perfectionist, and sometimes those extremes cause me to place too high expectations on her. Its the way I grew up. My mom and I were always in competition. I vowed I would never allow the same relationship to form with my daughter, but I fear it has already started to. I will continue to work on it.
I dont say that because I dont enjoy the parenting, I say it because I think I suck at being a mom to a daughter. I am a girly girl, and a perfectionist, and sometimes those extremes cause me to place too high expectations on her. Its the way I grew up. My mom and I were always in competition. I vowed I would never allow the same relationship to form with my daughter, but I fear it has already started to. I will continue to work on it.
This month she will have some freedoms that she may not have here at home, but she will also have some tighter reins. I try to not call her while she is on this adventure out of respect for their time. She calls me when she wants to talk and those times are coveted because everyone gets so excited to talk to her that Jim, Jadon and I fight over who is first this time!
So tomorrow we will make the drive to the meeting place that we visit every other weekend - the "drop off place". But this time the farewell will be a little sadder. A little longer. A lot harder to drive home from.
But she will have fun, and in our own right we will too.
