My baby is starting school in less than two months...

Happy. Amazed. Sad.

He is so happy, he can't wait to start. Pre-school was what he lived for this past year, and every morning when we drive past the elementary, he comments on what is changing (its being remodelled) and wonders how his Kindergarten room will be affected.

It amazes me how much he is learning at his new daycare. Maybe it is because she is on the school board, loves kids, and believes in helping her little dumplings get ready for the new school year, or maybe he is finally thriving in a socially hyperactive environment.

My sadness is less about him going to school, but more about the preparation... Sad that I have to break the news to him that he needs to go to the doctor in the next few weeks. Sad because after last Novembers 9 day stint at Childrens Hospital, I have tried to protect him from more "pokes", and have done my best to avert his new found fear of doctors, clinics, and needles. I don't blame him, he had needles, tubes and "pokes" in all places at all times for more time than any young child should have to. Thank God it was temporary, but the effects were lasting. And in case we forget, he even has scars to show us as reminders (thank God, this did not leave a scar!).

Today we received reminders from our insurance company with the list of vaccinations he needs before school. As he was placing the reminder stickers on the chart they sent, he noticed that the vaccination ones had pictures of needles on them, and instantly inquired why we were using those stickers. When I told him he would need a few pokes to start school, he quickly stated that he could wait. He didnt need to go to school next month.

Please Lord, give me the strength to get through that appointment without tears, because I know it is not going to go smoothly.