Reposting: Seven Eight years ago today - September 30, 2001...

Summer 1984 - you will find I am willing to post embarrassing pictures of myself when it comes to the memory of my mother. The shroud of vanity is lifted in her honor.

Today was a quiet day for you.

Not so much for Gram and I. The culimination of the 4 months prior were wearing on both of us. Things were said that have since been forgiven, but at the time were necessary for both of us.

She was losing her child - something a parent should never have to do.


I was losing my mother - something I was only allowed to have for 30 short years.

I wanted more.

I wanted you with me at my wedding.

I wanted you to hold my hand as I gave birth for the third time - because that is what you did.

I wanted you to know your grandchildren.

I wanted you to grow old - not die at 54.

I became very protective of my daughter role, and felt it necessary to remind people that their loss was important, but that they would never understand the magnitude of my loss. None of them had lost their mother.

I still protect that. It is sacred to me.

Reposting: Seven Eight years ago today

Seven Eight years ago today SciCom sent you 30 yellow roses (I bet if they knew pink was your favorite rose they would have sent it instead) to celebrate your 30th Anniversary at the company; no matter that you hadn't been able to work since May.

Seven Eight years ago today Mantha, Jim, Bruce Gram and I had birthday cake in your room. We opened gifts - including a Pooh Bear blanket that she still sleeps with - celebrating Mantha's 4th birthday. You slept through the whole party, we tried to wake you, but you were too tired.

Seven Eight years ago today you reached two milestones you promised yourself you would. Your "to do" list was as short as your time left with us.
The last item you never knew came true 1 year and 9 days later. He was due to come on your D day, but he waited until the time was right.

Seven Eight years ago today we knew your time was short. So we savored every moment like it was your last.

Happy Birthday one day early!

I know that tomorrow's post is already in cue - it is an annual post - and its a sad one. But it also commemorates an important day!



The day that this young Chicky turned 4






Tomorrow she will turn 12, and while I don't want to over shadow her day with sadness, it was also a poignant day in her life - and we talk about it every year on that same day - it was the last birthday she got to spend with her beloved grandma - the other pea to her pod - the Peter Pan to her Tinker Bell (grandma's nickname for her).

So while I do not want to take that memory from her, I also do not want it to slip by that she is celebrating a very large milestone (in her words):

• The last year she can order from the kids menu (poor thing! ha!)
• The last year she will be called a "kid" (I hate to remind her that "kid" is her nickname!)
• The last year she is not considered a "teen" which means she is grown up (um, I'm not ready for this...)
• The last year she is in middle school (very true - as long as she keeps up the homework!)
• The last year she has to shop in the kids section at the clothing store (that actually ended last year, but don't ruin it for her k?)
• The last year she has to wear glasses (she thinks when she turns 13 she gets contacts...)

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL
(and no, this is NOT the last year you will be called that!)

We have quite the birthday planned for her - with one big secret! My pally is going to come down and surprise her! She is hostessing a girls overnight at the local Motel. They will have their own room, a pool party, pizza, movies, and a girly spa! I know the GM at the Motel and she assured me that the only other room they will allow occupancy nearby is mine and pally's! Because we are positive that there will be giggles, squeals and loudness protruding from that room all night long!

My very scary dream (as told by Jadon)

Mom, I had a very scary dream last night.

It was about unwrapped mummys [twisting his pj top]. And my friend, I mean cousin Lainie, accidentally woke one up and I didn't.

When the one in the bed woke up then the other 5 woke up [showing me how many by waving 5 fingers at me]!

When the first mummy woke up we had to run outside.

It was very scary!!!

Until....

[wait for it....]




[still waiting?]




[the suspense is killing you right?]




[it nearly killed me. thank goodness it didn't or you wouldn't know the whole story!]




[and my sudden death would remain a mystery]




[you may want to sit down for this!]




[here it comes!]





We got out the Spider Man Fruit Snacks.

That. Is. It.

(the end)

Riding in cars with boys THE boy

Every other week I make a 70 mile trip to a slightly larger than where I live town where Mantha and I meet her father for his weekend visit. Most of those trips Jadon is forced to ride along as we often leave before Jim gets home. Many of the times that he is with we pass Jim on the highway, which often is a highlight of the trip.

Today Jadon called his dad when we were on our way home. It was the 14th 3rd call he had made since we left the house.

When he disconnected the call, Jadon asked if he could take a picture. One led to three, three led to a lot of blurry images. I let him pick three of those pictures for me to place here for your enjoyment...

Sunset on the prairie (with telephone wires - see we are still civilized out here!)

Dinner on the car seat - with dessert on top (Jim eats one whole pizza BTW... A large all meat. Jadon and I split a pizza - his half cheese, mine chicken, spinach and sun dried tomatoes - we of course only eat two pieces so we have lunch tomorrow - too bad for daddy!)

Einstein along for the ride!

He may not be a world class photographer (he was using my Blackberry so maybe that has something to do with it), but he had his subjects in mind, and they were mighty fine at that!

I saw dead people

Did you see them?



I caught glimpses of "Flash Forward" during commercials on Survivor. And I saw dead people!



Lost is now all making sense to me... Charlie didn't explode in a submarine! Penny didn't fall down a hole! They flashed forward and became different people - she is now Olivia and he is now Simon (or Theo Procopides...)

If you don't believe my theory, fastforward the episode to about 6 minutes (and 20 seconds if you really do try it!) - look at the billboard! See the "Oceanic Airlines" advertisement?

Now who's Lost?

Ha!

Ha-ha!

I do admit, its all a coincidence, just wishful thinking, but since Lost is my favorite show and I still have months (months! I say) before which I will watch its demise [last season], I need to start talking about it now to make the grieving a little easier!

The view

This morning as I was driving the short mile to work, I had one of those "I really like where I live" moments. I wondered how many people can say that and really mean every word of it?

Small town dwellers often take for granted where they reside. The hidden beauties and non inconvenient inconvenciences that are passed by every day.

The view that I used to see on my way to work was industrial. Cars on the highways. Big buildings competing for my attention. Stores that had things I wanted and things I didn't. Restaurants that served good, not so good, cheap and really expensive meals. Construction signs and cones, and people along the way with a look - the idea that work is dreadful. Office buildings with no views packed full of cubicles and people stumbling over each other to reach the ladder they must climb to reach the top.

The view this morning? An older couple walking their dog on the sidewalk strewn with brightly covered leaves. School busses taking our students to the buildings for which their minds are enriched. A mother waving good bye to one child on the bus while pushing a stroller and holding the hand of a toddler. Cars filled with townspeople, neighbors and friends on their way to their jobs, waving as they passed by. There was even a construction crew - at the corner of Weston and "Main". But it wasn't tying up traffic. The train - which in this small town is known as "traffic" - blocked two out of the three cross streets getting into downtown. Most sat patiently and watched as commerce passed through town via the rails, some turned around and chose the "underpass" to get around "traffic". But there wasn't a hurry, or fists, or horns or frustration.

As I pulled into my parking lot, I gazed at some of the beautiful turn of the century buildings - many built in the late 1880's before me. Many have been retrofit to look more modern, many have been restored to their glory day beauty. The beautiful hanging flower baskets? Well they are the icing on the cake!

I thought about how lucky I was to be able to walk into the historic opera house to grab my morning coffee - owned by my good friend. As I passed through a doorway in the same lower level of the opera house I entered her retail store. Brightly decorated to welcome this new season. She showed me the new jewelry she received to sell, and we talked about the things we talk about.

I then strolled back down the block to my office, waving to some, shouting out greetings to others, and in one case, a lewd gesture just for fun. Half way down the block our town Mayor joined me on the sidewalk. We returned to my office to enjoy our coffee and talk about small town stuff that small town Mayors talk about.

I do have a nice job - most days it consists of just "visiting" with people. My big stresses consist of "am I doing enough to make my members happy?", and "what can I do to keep my budget going", but for the most part I can make my day anything I want it to be. There are many jobs in this small town that are not as fun, many more than I am sure I am aware of. I had one of them once. Just around the corner from where I am now. But one thing that remains true at almost every job in this small town - there are friendly people everywhere. And they all know your name (for good and bad).

Sure we don't have a mall. We can't buy designer labels close to home. A trip to Target requires a little scheduling and a 45 minute drive in the middle of no where which sometimes can be inconvenient. Adjusting was not easy, but I happily gave that all up when I moved to my small town.

And the view is pretty darn nice to boot!

Mother Nature got the memo!

It appears she got the message - Fall hit as soon as the clock changed to 4:19!

Last night it felt as though darkness fell earlier. It was damper than normal. Amazingly the leaves already smelled musty. Even the temp dropped drastically.

Speaking of leaves, did anyone notice the sudden change in color? What once (once = Monday at 4:18) was lush green was instantly brown and orange and yellow crunching beneath my feet with a musty, already been here for a few days kind of scent.


This is my favorite time of year - must be the secret hidden vampire in me!


I love fall colors, cool evenings, less sun to burn my cornea's (that color on my face? um, its from a bottle!) and no heat! I am in heaven!



As for these characters:



they seem to like it too, because last night I could have sworn they took over my neighborhood!

Maybe it wasn't the leaves crunching beneath my feet....

Am I crabby?

Or are "they" just really irritating?

I work in a position where I get a lot of really C-A-R-A-Z-Y phone calls!

I am apparently easily confused with Knox Answer Booth, or City Complaint Central, and in some rare cases, as someone who cares!

For instance, last winter...

Little old lady:
I need you to come shovel out the end of my driveway for me!

Me:
I am sorry ma'am, I think you have the wrong number!

Little old lady:
Well aren't you the one who orders the plows to plow my street?

Me:
No, depending on where you live, that would either be the City or County Highway Department.

Little old lady:
Well you work for the City, so I need you to come remove the snow that you left in front of my driveway.

Me:
Ma'am I am very sorry for the confusion, I actually do not work for the City, I work for the ... we are a non profit organization, and while we do special projects with the City, we are actually not part of the City.

Little old lady:
I don't care about what projects you do, or what you do at your job for that matter, I only care that there is a large pile of snow in front of my driveway and I want you to come remove it. Thank you. CLICK!


I do not believe I will ever forget that conversation! Especially since I am POSITIVE she just called me again...

This time she wanted me to send someone to exterminate some pesky multi legged varmints from her basement.

SERIOUSLY!

Little old lady:
I need you to send that guy that drives around in the green and white vans to get rid of the bugs in my basement!

Me:
Which green and white van is that?

Little old lady:
I think its called ...

Me:
I can give you the phone number and you can call him!

Little old lady:
If I wanted to call him myself, I would have taken the number down yesterday when the van was in my neighborhood.

... I was stunned! I don't even remember how I ended my side of the conversation, but I do remember how she ended hers!

I bet you can guess it!


CLICK!

Its a conspiracy!

I think that the clock in my family room is having the last laugh...

At me!

I come home after working what feels like endless days, and most nights with at least one meeting...The clock reads 7:00.

I sit down, take a deep breath....The clock now reads 7:15

Rarely do I dine with my family... The clock now reads 7:30

I kiss the kids good night... The clock now reads 8:30

Become a zombie for 30 seconds... The clock now reads 11:29

See what I am saying? I zone out for 30 seconds, and the next thing I know its 3 hours later!

That damn clock has it in for me!

The sounds of immenent doom

You know when you are watching a drama - or horror movie - and hear that sound? It starts out as resonence - something about to happen - when your heart starts to pound a little harder, just enough that you can feel the beat in your ear? Then the music starts to mimic that pounding vibration of fear and adrenoline. First with a subtle drum beat, then cue the violins and finally the whole precussion section of: duuh-dun, duuh-dunn, duh-dunnnnnnn....

Just as the plot climaxes to immenent doom (or drah-mah).

Know what I am talking about?

Ok, now in your mind you know that in "real life" you would never be forewarned. You also know that if you did hear that sound you would be smart enough to run the other way right?

Now imagine me, sitting peacefully in my family room, browsing the internets, Google'ing things I don't need, wishing SOME PEOPLE would update their blogs so I would have something new to read, and then deciding, I suppose I should balance the checkbook before making my annual trip with my friends Stacy and Jody to my favorite store tomorrow.

When all of the sudden I hear....

duuh-dun, duuh-dunn, duh-dunnnnnnn....

Opening checking account = DOOM?

It kept getting louder, and louder, and louder.

My heart started to race, and all of the sudden I felt like I should run.

Change my name and move to another country.

As the page starts to download I start seeing stars and feel like I am going to pass out as the beat gets louder and louder.

Closer and closer.

Just before I blacked out (or didn't), the precussion kicked in.

Then I heard the horn section...

I knew it was over. I was doomed. I would be hauled to the center of town in a heavy floor length smock with a scarlet "B" (for bounced) on my chest, and my fellow townspeople would commence pelting me with tomato's.


And then all of the sudden....


I realized it was just the highschool band practicing their marching down my street!


BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!




Happy Friday!

Crickets go "POP!"

The sound is disgusting! Especially the big fat ones.

I know this because I just stepped on one.

In my office.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

I cannot get the sound out of my head. Someone please sing me a tune so I can change the noise I am hearing!

I don't what it is with them this year but they seem to be out in droves. And they are crunchy. Sometimes you don't see them until you hear the "POP!".


Little bodies everywhere! They are all over our garage floor. NASTY! I don't know which creeps me out more...

Crickets crawling, hopping and "POP!"ing

Cicada's killing me softly with their song

Or these evil demonic flying beasts

I think that is why I love winter!!!!

Birthdays Birthdays EVERYWHERE!

Speaking of my pally's birthday this past Sunday, there are SO MANY friends and family with birthdays in the next few weeks, so lest I forget someone, leave yours in my comments (all 2 of you who stop by!) if it falls in the next month!

Sunday September 13th:
My Pally Kim D
My friend Margaret

Wednesday September 16th:
My friend Ellie
My friend Dayna

Saturday September 19th:
My Mother In Law

Sunday September 20th:
My friend Shari

Monday September 21st:
My friend Stacy

Wednesday September 23rd:
My Husband

Friday September 25th:
My friend Barbara

Tuesday September 29th:
MANTHA!!!

Monday October 5th:
My niece Sierra

Saturday October 10th:
My niece Justy

Monday October 12th:
JADON

Saturday October 17th:
SARAH AND LIBBY!!!


I can't forget my dear friend Jeanne who turned 60 on the 3rd. She just lost her sister to Cancer in June, and she still struggles daily with the loss. I hope her birthday was all she hoped for!

Happy Birthday to all of these dear people, and to anyone else who is soon to celebrate another year!

Happy Birthday to my pally Kim!

Its a day late, but thats only because it took me until now to recover from our "Kims Birthday Food Fest" that we enjoyed with our dear friend KimD! As always Mantha aka "Skittles" enjoyed her alone time with Kim as they drove down together from the cities! Jim and I still haven't eaten - I think I am just now getting my appetite back!

I dont know if it was that we were so hungry yesterday that we ate so much, or if it was the hostess "Madge" that was spawning us to hang out longer by her rude and snide "if I knew you were going to stay this long I wouldn't have seated you here" comments.



Thank God we had a nice and understanding waitress (she either really felt bad or has a really good customer service face!).


Mantha took this picture yesterday! As promised Pally, I zoomed! :)