Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Discs V. Dicks

I can see it now... Kimmy is over yonder thinkin' to her self that Lori hasn't posted yet - its 8:12, and I am sure she is in bed or off doing something "non bloggy" and is about to lose the bet.

Well guess again my friend!

So today I finally got into another doctor. Actually my old doctor from the bigger town clinic. She happens to be friends with my doctor from my small town, and I really didn't want to see her because I was and still am afraid that I said something incriminating about the care I received last week and it will get back to Dr. A.

Note to self... next time you befriend a doctor from Nigeria and you live in a small town, don't introduce that doctor to your current doctor in the bigger town who is also from Nigeria. And then don't change to the doctor you befriended, only to have to go back to the original doctor for a second opinion. It will inevitably bite you in the proverbial ass.

Or backfire.

Hopefully that has not/will not happen in this scenario.

My cold is horrendous. So bad that my stomach hurts when I cough (for all of you mothers who have had c-sections, or you ladies who have had hysterectomy's, you will understand), right along that line where my muscles were sliced apart during my hysto 4 years ago.

And my chest hurts, and my nose is raw, and my garbage cans are all white and fluffy with used and disposed of tissues, and the backs of my shoulders feel like someone has been slugging me all day long.

Interestingly, even though I barely can speak, sound like a seal and have post nasal drip, nothing was spoken of THAT particular condition today. I have decided that medicine is practiced in such a way that only one symptom is dealt with per visit - you know - for more billable time...

Anyway... Dr. B (my old/new doctor from the bigger town clinic) has deduced that while Dr. A does not believe there is anything wrong with my "dicks or dick spaces", that I have indeed ruptured a disc (didn't I also say that last week - read back to 1998, you will see it right there in that fat file on your desk).

Benefit of the doubt? Maybe its not that they don't concur with the diagnosis, but rather are talking about two different things... Jim thinks that is the problem... as a female without a dick (but apparently with dick spaces [according to him]), there is no way for Dr. A to diagnose me. But since Dr. B can say it correctly, she knows where to look!

That being said, I have a MRI (it sounds better saying "an MRI", but it is not proper to say it that way so I digress) on Wednesday of next week. IF and only IF my insurance approves it. Apparently there is now a "Prior Authorization" for that kind of test on my account. Really? I would guess it would have to come from the many many stupid tests that Dr. A ran last week that not only turned up nothing, but also were looking at the wrong pieces of anatomy.

And she gets paid the big bucks.

Remember how I kept asking "are you sure it isn't my back???"

And I get to pay the big bucks.

Score one for the institution of medicine! They have it figured out... they get paid no matter what!
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