I feel I am fairly creative. I love to make things, and create things. Its ingrained in my DNA. But everyonce in a while, like a favorite song that is played too often on the radio, or a favite meal savored too frequently, sometimes my hobbies become stale.
And I lose gumption.
And then I start to miss it enough to want to start up again, only to get to the drawing board and not have any lead in my proverbial pencil.
That is the slump I have found myself in most recently.
I love making cards. I love scrapbooking. I love making jewelry. And I love blogging and chatting with online friends.
But lately, even the latter has been hard for me.
Maybe I am too tired. Maybe burn out finally hit me. My IRL friends tell me I havent learned the word "no" yet, and they are sure I will crash soon. I think they were right. And I think it is happening.
I live in a very small town (4800 people). I am very active in the community. I am the Director at our Chamber of Commerce; the Chair of our counties Relay For Life; a Founder/LLC Owner and Board Member of the Club we opened in November; the Chair of a sub committee for a poverty reduction project in our community; the co-chair of a Community Reusable Shopping Bag committee; the co-creator of new educational opportunities in our Business District along side our EDA. Every Tuesday of the month is scheduled with Board Meetings for several of said committees. And now our Annual Community Golf Invitational planning has started again...
And I am finding myself so overwhelmed I can hardly breath.
I thrive on this kind of stuff. I think I was made to be a community player. But now all of the sudden I find myself skipping meetings. I am blowing off responsibilities until the last minute. I am making promises I am finding I am regretting. And while the projects and committee's don't suffer much - as I am still getting the work done - they aren't necessarily getting the kind of attention I would like to be giving them.
But I can't say no. And I can't seem to let go.
So while I debate getting started on one of my many projects, nothing gets done. And when I decide I am ready to get it done, its all piled on at once. And my friends and family lose me for a while again. And when there is a problem with a friend or a family member I have a hard time giving the issue the time it deserves.
I used to be a type A personality. I could plan and organize circles around most people. I had anal down to a tee, and nothing phased me. So what changed? Why is my life so discombobulated? And did I spell that right? hehehehehehehe And now I am sounding whiney. I should appreciate the opportunities I have been offered. Why oh why am I resenting them more than appreciating them?