Thursday, February 26, 2009

Can someone please remind me...

Who do our elected officials work for?

Clearly I am really confused.

Thats all. Thankyouverymuch!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A loss, a good bye, and a big surprise!

So long sweet man!

As I held your hand, and whispered sweet memories in your ear, I thought of grandma. She was waiting for you. In her blue dress, with dinner on the table. Her smile anticipating your return, her hands clutched in excitement. When I told you to quit worrying about us, we have each other, and we love you, you took a deep breath and you ran to her arms.

Everyone thanked me for sitting with you, making sure you didn't pass alone. What they didn't understand was that I wanted it to be me. You were my partner in crime. My boyfriend at the dance. My truffle eating, wine drinking, constantly cavorting counterpart. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Did you notice the beautiful weather we had yesterday? It was sunny, and warm just for you.


A few weeks ago I posted that I was worried that my favorite sister in law was potentially leaving the family...

My fear was reaffirmed at grandpa's funeral. She starts a new job in Apri - in Denver. I'm sad that they could not work things out. She was the only one that understood me when the rest of the family was not on my side. I may be opinionated, but thank God I had her to commiserate with!

They both need to move on, and he isn't willing to make the changes she wanted to make, so I understand. I am glad they are parting as friends. I just wish she wasn't moving so far away!


Now for the fun stuff!!!

A big surprise...

On Valentines Day my good friend MckMama told us about some amazing things her husband gave her on that chocolaty sweet day. I made a comment that apparently tickled the fancy of the company from which her husband bought the delictable treats he bestowed upon her, and with the threat of a giveaway, decided to do one of their own - and they chose lil ol me!!!

I don't know which part of my comment made them choose me - the part where I sounded overworked, overstressed, or just plain old over exasperated. I have a feeling it had more to do with this statement: "I am hungry for all things chocolate now, and considered getting in the car and driving two hours north east to knock on your door and steal a truffle or two!" It was not for the fact that I would devour anything chocolate, but more for:

"We'd certainly hate to see justlori2day commit a crime and waste all of that gas "just" for chocolate, so we're going to send her the truffles in the edible chocolate box to call her very own. So, Lori, give us a holler, and we'll get those headed your way."

I can't wait to receive my care package from Munchie Gifts!!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The new second language...

I think I have heard it all now...

Apparently there is a new language in our house.

On Saturday mornings it is guaranteed that I will spend most of the a.m. hours watching my youngest and his teenmiddleaged father "save the world" playing Wii Lego Indiana Jones. Apparently whilst playing L.I.J., the boys created a new way of speaking to each other.

Its called Burp as a second language.

Jadon just informed me that "dad said 'in burp' that I could watch your tv".

Lord help me, I may just lose my mind!

Monday, February 16, 2009

What do you need?

Stolen from Elaine's blog:

If this doesn't make you laugh, then maybe you need my #3! :)

Here is what you do:

Google search, your name, with "needs" on the end. (ie: I would type "Lori needs".)
Then you write a blog post, listing the first 10 results, and your own comment to each.

Ready? Set. GO!

What "Lori Needs"...

Lori needs the angry dieter.
Well, if Lori goes on a diet, she may become the angry dieter!

Lori needs to vent.
Is this in response to me not doing my "Not Me's" today? Geesh, words spreads fast!

Lori needs help.
Really? And what made you think that? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lori needs loads of laughter.
I think I got a good load of laughter today trying to make a map with the Schwanns guy! A good story for another day!

Lori needs a life.

Lori needs magic!
YAY ME! I love me a good disappearing act! I would love some magic done on the mess in my house pleaseandthankyouverymuch!

Lori needs (clearly) a gelato machine.
I don't know what a gelato machine is, but it sounds like a lot of work to make something I can buy already made in the freezer section!

Lori needs friends.
Does this go along with Lori needing a life? Again, thanks!

Lori needs a team!
YES I DO! I need a team of lipo suction doctors to donate their free time (and they will need a lot of it) to take care of that nuisance that keeps following me around!

Lori needs to quit.
HA! I knew it!

Go on, try it! Thanks Elaine! :)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

After a week - a few things I have realized...

1. I am the one that broke my blog.

Of all stupid things, I linked myself to my jewelry blog. Whodathunk? Really though, so you don't find yourself pulling your hair out needlessly... if you notice your blog goes all upside - sidebardown - on you after posting with a lot of links, try removing the links one at a time. It took since last friggin Monday in all of my free time to figure out something so simple was ruining my sleep.

2. I am the one that broke my neck. (no pity please, it was my own stupid fault!)

Ok, not really. I didn't break it in the sense that things are broken. But I broke it in the sense that it isn't working properly.

Remember when I told you I re-ruptured the disc in my back lifting a box on Saturday morning? Well I did not share with you the whole story. I did not share that Jim had just asked me not to lift the box that I had been impatientlywaiting for him to move just asked him to move for me. Me being me, I picked it up. And then dropped it, myself following, to the same spot it had just been resting in.

I took it easy the rest of the weekend. I kept my feet up. I did stretches. I took pain meds. I used heat/cold appropriately, and voila, by Monday morning my back was feeling pretty good.

However, I woke up with none other than a sore neck.

By Monday afternoon it was very swollen, and I couldn't turn my head. I called my Physical Therapist and he told me to go in and see my doctor, get some pain meds, heat/cold pack it and call him in a few days if it wasn't better. If you remember at all this past November, calling my doctor was not even near the top of my list of things to do.

Tuesday morning I found myself incapacitated and proceeded to spend the next two days (sans my Board Meeting) in bed. As the queen of chronic pain, I already had a bevy of pain meds, so I chose the ones that reduced inflammation, induced sleep, and took the edge off of pain. Heat and cold as recommended, and still no improvement.

Thursday morning I was bored out of my mind and miserably went into work. I called my Physical Therapist again and he told me he was sure I had done what I had already deduced - ruptured one of the already bulging disc's in my neck...

Let me stop right now and explain a few things...

First off, I am not as klutzy as it may seem that I am. I just have really bad luck. Or bad bones. Or bad discs as it they may be.

Since the age of 15, I have had cartilage and disc issues. It started when I was a skater as a child/adolescent. Too much jumping and landing hard on ice in skates caused disintegrating cartilage in my knees. A car accident when I was 20 caused me to bulge several discs in my neck that never healed. Unrelated to the car accident, I also have deteriorating discs in my neck, as well as 3 discs in my lower back that are either bulging, or slightly ruptured.

The extra person I carry on my backside doesn't help the situation, however, these issues were issues long before my sidekick moved in.

(now back to my point)

I called our friend who is also our Chiropractor, and asked if I could come in on Friday morning and get a deep tissue (YOUCH) massage, and maybe feel around to see if anything out of alignment. He obliged. And sent me home with little more than a short neck rub and lots of concern about adjusting me.

We left it at I would call him Monday - or this weekend if I was desperate - and let him know how I was feeling. Heat/Cold, pain meds, sleepless nights, neck pillows squished and squashed and used in ways I don't think they were meant to be used, and lots of over stuffed stuffed animals from Jadon's bed to hug on and snuggle with, lay on, toss off the bed when they took up too much space, lots of stretching and praying that the concurrent impending headaches would stave off for one more moment, one more day - who am I kidding - forever. I am knock on wood, feeling a little better, but now that the swelling is down, I know the sharp pain I am feeling is disc pain.


(and please, don't apologize for my stupidity! I deserve scoldings, not pity!)

Monday, February 9, 2009

Who's the joker

That broke my blog?

Put my sidebar back please!

Stretch my background back out please!

Put my fonts back the way they were while you are at it!


Oh, and please, don't do it again. I don't have time for repairs!

Not Me! Monday

I am getting really bad at this. Hopefully MckMama will still be my friend even though I have been most recently living at the bottom of her list. Oh, what am I saying - of course she will - I am her favorite wolverine! (just don't tell the rest of them!)

Not once this past week did I consider making up an award or a meme just so I could make a button or two. Its not in my nature to do things creatively.

I did not have a conversation with one, let alone two, gift shops about consigning my jewelry. One in my very small town, and one in the bigger small town 40 miles from here.

I did not re-rupture my disc on Saturday whilst lifting manyheavyboxes filled with old photo albums of my moms. I wouldn't do something so crass as to actually do hard labor inmypajamas, and not expect reprocussions.

I did not stay in pajama's again all weekend because it has become my new norm was really comfortable.

It most certainly did not take me nearly 12 hours to clean out the closet that I sat in in my pajama's re-rupturing my disc on Saturday. I did not use my pain as an excuse the reason why I couldn't set up the film at the club on Saturday night. It was more likely the Vicadin and Torodol I took after the pain that caused me to text my incapacitation to the person I begged to do the set up.

I would never have enough nerve to tell my mother in law this morning that my husband was going to have to use another vacation day for his lack of work last week in the hopes that she would finally send the check for the money she owes him for moving all of the furniture out of her fathers house.

I still do not have the guts to call my sister in law to see if her marriage to my husbands brother will survive the turmoil it appears to be in. I do not want to give in to the speculation, and I do not want my other sister in law to get into trouble for telling me if she was not supposed to.

I do think that my other sister in law is hoping I will spill the beans to my mother in law so that maybe my mother in law will bud in and say something to stop the nonsense. I will not however be the one to tell her. Its not my story to tell.

I just really hope my husbands brother did not do what my other sister in law said he did (and no, it is not that!)

Whew, that felt good.

I did not just freak out that my side bar is at the bottom of my posts....

Sunday, February 8, 2009

An understanding of not understanding

Also known as me getting really judgemental and hypercritical...

I know, the first thing that comes to the forefront of your mind is "lady, pot shouldn't call the kettle black" to which I retort "I wouldn't be caught dead...", so there for I am more of a bowl than a pot. Call me the lid.

Before I go on, I will be the first to admit that I need to remove half a person off of my rear. But in my defense, I am not shakin' it, exposing it, or making you look at it in inappropriate ways.

So on to the show.

Bridezilla's that is. Jim loves the show because these women are seriously deranged - but this one HAS to take the wedding cake. Like a train wreck (apparently I have an affinity for train wrecks lately), I sit here, in my newly re-ruptureddiscfeetup state, watching the horrors of the half ton triplets on this afternoons episode.

There are several things that a lady of larger statute should really not wear, all of which have been displayed in this 1/2 hour episode...

Spaghetti straps
Tank Tops
Low Riders
Cleavage Shirts
Cap Sleeve's
Strapless tops
Tops wth a "bolo" style overshirt.
Empire waisted wedding dresses embellished with a ribbon and tufted organza

and last but not least - A Towel - whilst getting a spray tan on national television... Just sayin...

I realize this all sounds really judgemental, but unless you watched the show, you have no idea how mind numbingly blinding this all was... NONE of the girls were less than 400 pounds.

If Fad's "gunt" post last weekend didn't get me all in a fasting mode, this show most possibly did.

Hell calleth my name loud and clear, but I digress...

That being said, I must go cook dinner!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Wednesday Observations

I have blatantly misunderstood what the term "Customer Service" means. Apparently the true meaning is: you are the customer and you must service yourself.

I was lucky enough to be blessed with nice teeth (and a really good Orthodontist), so today as I pulled around the corner in the drive thru and saw a super friendly Customer Service representative with really bad teeth I thought to myself - does that hurt as bad as it looks?

I am amazed how smart, conscientious parents still let their children con their way into a trip to the germfactorynastypizzatrailertrashhangoutgreasynevergettinthatsmelloutofyourclothes joint for kids birthdays. You know the one? Yeah, Fad, the one you got sucked into last night! By the way, now that I know that "it" has a name, I believe I am going to commence fasting.

I will never understand why, every day I have to remind the small people in my house that the floor is not the trash can, papers do not get tossed in the air and left to lay where they land, and shoes do not get lined up on my grandmothers antique oriental rug.

And last but not least, can someone explain why my heating bill is outrageously high, my fireplace is always burning, I have a space heater set to high in my office, I am wearing 3,000 layers and a fleece blanket, yet I cannot seem to warm up?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Going all postal - or something like that...

I have decided that the post office was not designed to have me as a customer. I know I have not been very faithful. Christmas cards from years gone by made, pictures printed, all that was left was the addresses, still in a pile in my craft closet. Never sent through the post office. Instead, a rather simple yet wickedly creative electronic version was sent. Sometime around Ground Hog Day.

So I can understand its animosity towards me... I hear the "you don't send me the love anymore" complaint, and I agree. I am the worst snailmailer ever born, grown, created or whatever'd.

But seriously, must you be so cruel? That is not how you win me back.

First you trip me with your rug. Break a few ribs here and there, permanently scrape my knee, and make my opposable thumb feel a little less than posable.

Then you sick that mean old Postmaster on me when I tell him I have pain. And oh how I had pain. He didn't care. He was more concerned that I was going to sue him and that he had too much paperwork to fill out and went all "littleoldladiesshouldntbeoutinthisweatherfallingdownonmysidewalkswhataretheythinking" on me - yet, I am not little, and I sure ain't old (although Kim thinks I look 60, but that is a whole 'nother story), and what do they have to do with me anyway?

Now, when I enter your hallowed doors you send panicked whispers of "she's coming, run, hide" to all of your many little minions. And like a fart in church they spread silently away from where I stand.

Except for that one unsuspecting young lady, who was too busy on the phone to hear your warning. Apparently also too busy to see me standing in front of her at 4:20. And still at 4:25. And even at 4:29 when she reached over to pull down the "closed" sign. All while still on the phone. Making plans to go camping. In May. Because that is what we tundra living people do when the snow dissipates and the temps climb out of the freezer.

So while you don't have love for me any more Mr. Post Office, my Ebay friend really wants her package, so tell your phonechatty little friend that I do not appreciate her closing doors in my face. I may look it, but I am not a push over, and I really want service. Twenty minutes waiting for her to decide with her phonepal where they are staying, and who is renting a cabin, or staying in a hotel (which neither constitute camping by the way) in MAY, is really not good customer service. While I am often a fairly patient and understanding person, I would really like to pay for my package and leave before something large falls on me.

Thankyouverymuchsir (or madame if such is the case).

Monday, February 2, 2009

Not Me! Monday - the Late Edition

I have been so so bad at playing along with MckMama on her Monday Carnival of things I did not (or did in most cases) the past few weeks.
This morning while I lay in bed I considered doing my not me's, but did not get very far...

Last week was a humdinger that I am so glad is finally over. You know, one of those weeks that is full of things that you know will be fun, but at the same time a lot of work? It was one of those.

I did not spend all day on Monday trying to decipher what my priorities were. I do not have that much time to waste, so I would never spend an entire day doing it. Unless I wasn't motivated that is.

I did not forget about an ad and article deadline that was past due and very quickly put it together, only to come up with some of my best work in a pinch.

I did not call a super secret even my assistant did not know about it meeting on Monday night to alert my executive committee that we may be losing funding that is provided to us by an entity specifically geared towards promoting our town. I did not tell my assistant because I did not want her to insist on attending when I knew she would hold back discussions.

I did not tell her about the meeting the next day either. Not until the Board meeting. Then I was told that I could not tell her what they decided until today because they wanted me to have her help during the past weeks worth of events.

I was not relieved when she called in sick this morning. However it means that tomorrow I get to have the dreaded discussion with her. And both supporting Board Members have decided that unless I call them for support, I will deliver the message myself.

Needless to say, I did not sleep well last week.

If you are keeping score, that is week like 15 since I have had a good night sleep.

I did not spend an entire morning chit chatting with my ad sales rep about things so unrelated to work that by the time she left my office I realized that we still had not taken care of the business (yet again) that she came in to see me about.

It is not becoming a pattern. Maybe we need to plan a ladies night sometime soon so we can get work done during the day!

I did not get a little sad that my friends daughter named her son Zach when I knew my friend really wanted her to name him after this guy.

I did not take this picture on Saturday while standing next to my parked car on a frozen lake while running an ice fishing contest. I did not just admit that I, prissy queen, ran an ice fishing contest. On a frozen lake. In the cold. Outside. Do you see what I am saying here?

I did not laugh my ever loving ars off when I heard wheels spinning and realize that this vehicle was B.U.R.I.E.D. in nerly 3' of snow. On the frozen lake. In the cold. Outside. I did not do it (really I did not). Do you see what I am saying here now? Yes, my husband, trying to show off, buried our very large truck in the snow on the lake... (note, there was an ice road plowed. apparently ice roads are not meant for big red trucks that have super powers like my husbands. imjustsayin).

See these? These are cracks in the ice. Things like this when I was younger scared the daylights out of me. Especially when my dad would park me in the middle of Lake Mille Lacs in a fish house. I never wanted the heater running because I was always worried we would burn a hole through the ice and sink to the bottom. Now I hear ice shift and crack and think it sounds kind of cool. Of course, you won't find me spending too much free time out on a frozen lake anytime soon! Once a year is enough for me.

I am not looking forward to the conversation I have to have with my assistant tomorrow. I do not like letting people down. But it has to be done. So I digress.