Heavy

The heavier the rain the heavier my lids.

I have dozed off writing Board notes and researching websites and blogs for work so many times today I cannot tell you.

I finally found a negative to being on main street - with my desk literally 20' from the sidewalk outside - in an office that has one entire wall of windows...

People can see my head hit the desk when I conk out!

If it weren't for the phone I think I would be an hour into a drool fest.

Not Me Monday

You've been there - you know you have! Those days when you skipped a step out of laziness, or ignored something your husband or kids did "just because" it was easier? Then there are those things that may cause need for a session or two on a leather sofa. Well I have many of those days! In fact, if I kept a log, I could actually write 13 1/2 pages each day. But there is just no time for that now, really!

So my good friend aka MckMama started a little "project" almost a year ago to combat the guilty's and the need for a costly therapist. Lord knows this is so much cheaper than my therapist (my pretend one - because there is nothing wrong with me, so why would I need a therapist - really, how dare you think otherwise).

I did not cry like a little girl at our facilitator training in front of 10 of my professional colleagues when it was my turn to share some of what inspired me about the previous two days of seminar. I am not emotional and do not wear my heart on my sleeve, and would NEVER let my guard down and cry in front of people, because I just do not do that!

sniff sniff...

I did not make any excuses on Friday when we arrived at the "baums" family weekend, and shortly after dinner ducked out early for the night. I would never do that. I do not lie - really, seriously, I do not (I abhor it!). I HAD spent three days in a classroom, and I DID need to unwind by myself for a while. Just because I did not tell everyone I also needed to take a break from a few of them does not constitute an excuse or a lie, only an exclusion to save their feelings.

I am kind that way.

I did not then text my soon to be ex-SIL that I am mad at her soon to be ex-husband (my husbands brother) call him a chump for leaving her. I also told her I miss her tons. I mean I did not, because I did not text her. Wait, that WAS a lie. I did.

I did not stop helping and then walk away from my husband when he blamed me for breaking the awning on the camper. I did not blame his brother for breaking it even though I know he messed with the button that broke it because, well, I do not roll that way. I did however go get his brother and make him help my husband fix said broken awning after I did (not) walk away from him.

I did not then come back after it was fixed and make my husband apologize to me.

I did not gorge on chips, and dips, and adult beverages and card games while at the "baums" family weekend. I did not rub in anyone's faces that I am the unofficial Phase 10 champ, and Queen of the game Bull Shit. I also did not at anytime while playing "B.S." with my young and impressionable teen aged nieces accidentally slip out the words "bull shit" instead of the cleaner "baloney sandwich" when busting their deception during a game for which lying is intentional. I also never lied about the cards I lay on the table - just to clarify! (and those out there yelling "B.S." - PROVE IT! Because I already clarified that I do not lie! bwahahaha!)

I did not drink several pots of coffee each day of training last week because that just isn't responsible. I also did not drink the last cup yesterday morning because I was hoping someone else would make more for me (which for the record, no one did). I did not do that, because I have never liked coffee. Well, I never did like coffee. Until I stopped drinking pop.

I did not just slam a 20 oz cup of coffee and sneak back over to my friends coffee shop and refill my cup. I did not! But I thought about it!

I am not blogging at work either. That is not efficient!

I am DEFINITELY not looking for a volunteer to man my office Thursday afternoon so I can skip out of work early and head to the lake for my sides family weekend. Nope, I would not shirk work in that way!

BWA!

Ha!

Ha!

7 Habits part 2...

Or shall I say "day two".

Wow is all I can say! I am taking the certification tomorrow. Then I will be able to teach it. I have a lot of reading and practicing to do!

As organizers of the program we had the opportunity to have a one on one dinner with the instructor/consultant last night and it was very insightful. For many reasons. The most important was that what we are doing is really important and that a program he implemented 20 years ago that was put to the way side may be able to start up again because of what our mission statement is telling him.

That excited him and made us feel really good.

It also worried him because while our intentions are well meaning, the negative ramifications of the "unexpected" make him fear for our success. Somehow, as he put it "for the first time in his 22 years" we managed to get Covey to allow us to do a small business/entrepreneur/school all in one program that will reach a spectrum of people that hasn't been allowed in the past... Pray it works the way we all hope!

I am pretty proud of our innovative little town. Who would think a program we had 120 spots for would FILL UP!!!!

Off to do some homework.

Oh, my favorite affirmation of the day came from the instructor/consultant...

Towards the end of the afternoon I had a hard time sitting - my back/kidneys/fibromyalgia do not do well with stagnate behaviors, so I was leaning against a window seat opposite from where he was speaking. He started a video, and walked the perimeter of the room. He stopped at where I was standing, put his hand on my shoulder and said "Lori, I really like you. You are very purposeful. You seem to know what is important and what you need to do to achieve it. You seem to have a solid head on your shoulders. I have truly enjoyed working with you, and cannot wait for tomorrows sessions". All small statements. I wanted to cry. Instead I thanked him.

I was blown away.

I think when I reveal some of my introspections you will understand where his comment came from, but to walk in wondering if I was right for the program, having a seasoned professional tell me what he did was enough to lift my spirits for a long time to come.

And now I need to decide whether I am going to do homework or go to bed to prepare for hardcore work tomorrow... Hmmmm.... what will prevail?

So for those of you who do come and visit, and have read or are interested in reading the series, what would you think of a separate "blog/book/7 Habits club"? We can take a habit a week/month - however we want to do it. Read, practice it in our lives and share our experiences, good and bad and receive support and affirmation for what we are trying to do? I would make it private so we could be candid with each other. Let me know!

Pally, it WAS an extra, so its yours!!!

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Heard of it? Read the book(s)? Living the habits?

All I can say is wow, and slow down sir, my writing hand is getting tired!

What am I speaking of? Something we can all use a little of... Self reflection. Self improvement. Accountability. More self reflection. Living the way we want to be remembered, not the way we can breeze through life.

Did I lose you?

I will elaborate more as the days go on (and I have time to absorb it all).

If you want to know what I am talking about, click here. (after you read the first statement, click on the links on the right column to read the other habits).

I cant wait to share with you some of the reflections I have made today - some very personal, some that I haven't shared with anyone before.

Off to dine with Mr. Charles Farnsworth and then "study" for day 2! :)

Shout it from the hill tops

(ok, that was a pun and it was intended!)

After three weeks of agonizing waiting and a really sucky experience with the MRI (imagine face down, feet first all the way in the tube with no where to look but down [and a well padded behind touching the machine the whole time]) the "lump" was definitely a benign cyst! I have an enlarged lymph node but it is within normal range, so we are calling it optomistically good!

Unless I notice any changes of any sort I am in the clear for one more year!

I am 1 - 3/4 years from my 40th birthday when my risk goes from 40% to 60%, but I am already ahead of the game in testing and being prepared, so BRCA2, you can kiss my well padded rear (at least for one more year!)

Going, going, gone...

25 days...

That is how many days it will be until I see my darlin Mantha again. She is at her dads in my home town until school starts. While the time always flies because August is so busy in our household, it still is very lonely without her here! We always miss her much more than we expect to every summer! But we know she has a blast not having daily chores and a mom always at her heels!

Last year I took this picture the day she left. I didn't forget this year - well not totally. I remembered as I drove away. I thought about it a half dozen times before I dropped her off, that counts right?

Jadon will be on his own adventure for 6 days. He will spend a week with his cousin Lainey who is just two months and one day younger than he at my dads cabin. My dad is now of the belief that two kids is better than one - esp two cute almost 7 year olds. Of course my step mother will have many structured activities for the two youngsters, but boat rides, beach time and pretend play will be a plenty!

Too bad both kids will be gone on a very busy week for Jim and I. We really won't get a lot of "just us" time, but that is ok - we are used to it!

I took this picture of Jim and Jadon last weekend. Love it - had to share. I won't tell you what caused the shit eating grin on my husbands face, but suffice it to say it was at my expense!

I got an update from our Treasurer for Relay For Life, and right now we are well over $106K! We have until the 25th of this month to turn our money in and pay our bills. We will for sure net over $100K this year!!! That is down only $4k from last year, and in this economy, that totally ROCKS!!!

I have to share with you a few special moments at this year's Relay...

First, it had been a tough week for me. That Sunday was MckBrunch (which was so much fun!), but it was also the day I found a lump in my breast. I spent the whole week worrying. I had told only four people - my aunt who was diagnosed with breast cancer right before my mom died (and the aunt who adopted my first born 21 years ago); my husband; my friend Jeanne; my friend Kim. My doctors appointment yielded positive news - he was sure it was benign. But I still needed an MRI - which I had this past Friday.

What made this night so special was that I was no longer worried about cancer this time. I was confident in the initial diagnosis, and was happy to be alive. Going on 5 years as a survivor, taking that first confident step in the survivors walk with my aunt at my side was even more special this year. For anyone who has had Cancer, you know that 5 years is a huge mile marker. Knowing that this most recent scare was just that made it so much more to me.

Every year two teams go out of their way to support survivors. One hands out purple balloons for survivors to release, the other hands us long stemmed roses. This year Mitz and I waited until we got to where our family was standing - back at our campsite - to release our balloons. Just as we did so, someone else had released a "balloon to Heaven" in memory of someone who had lost their battle. Because we waited to release, ours were the only two purple in the sky at the time - met shortly after by the lonely white balloon. Together the three floated off. We did not see the white balloon right away, so when we looked back up to see if ours were still in sight, we both said in unison "mom sent a balloon down to meet ours" - and then proceeded to bawl like little school girls.

It was symbolic. We always know she is there with us. This time we felt it in so many ways.

Having my pally Kim there was very special to me as well. Kim has never been to a Relay event. She has purchased luminaries in her husbands memory, but she hadn't ever seen them lit. That night she experienced a lot of firsts that brought back very sad memories, and very happy new ones. She got to talk about Bill to others who had been caregivers, and she heard of stories of survival. Her husband and my mother died the same year, he in the spring, her in the fall, and are both buried at a very special cemetery in Minneapolis.

I know she says she was honored to be there, but I was honored to have her there! Kim and I met on our blogs, but became very fast real life, life long friends. While Jim and I worried we bored her to death because we did NOTHING besides eat and sleep - and watch tv - she says she had a blast - so pally, you are welcome anytime!

Jim and I are watching Gran Torino and he is getting tired of me hitting rewind so I had better change my focus! Is it my fault I don't multi task well at 11 at night? BWA!

Immediate need of prayer

UPDATE (7:30 pm)
Boston is on hold - possibly indefinitely. Please pray for clarity in the doctors decisions. It is not easy by any stretch to have the plans for your baby's care change so frequently!


UPDATE (11:43 am)
Stellan will be airlifted to Boston. This is good news in that he can still be sent. It is bad news in that it means he cannot be cared for here any longer. Please pray for a safe trip and clarity for those who will care for him during the trip and once he arrives!

Stellans family has been called to be by his side. Now more than ever, if you pray, or even if you do not, please hold this sweet boy and his family in your hearts and prayers!

I pray this is only a hurdle, and not Gods will.

I call on you all - Stellan is very very ill

And is in dire need of your prayers! He is not taking to new meds well, and is under threat of ventilation.

I could go into great detail here, or send you directly to Jennifers blog.

Please, if you have it in you, pray for this sweet little boy that has worked his way into our hearts and lives. It has been a long hard struggle since before birth. His heart is in need of peace and healing!

If you are in the mood and have the ability, join in the WEAR ORANGE FOR STELLAN MONDAY MOVEMENT started by the My Charming Kids Community as well!

BlogFrog users, you can join the prayer chain here. If you are not a BlogFrogger, but want to join in, you can register under the My Charming Kids community.

Why I Relay

I was asked this afternoon: "with all the other projects you work on, why do you also Chair Relay For Life? Isn't it a lot of work?"

My answer: "yes it is, but would you step up and do it if I didn't?"

His answer was: "no, I already have too many irons in the fire, and it just isn't something that I feel I need to do"

Something that gets to me much more than most things is people who rush in and complain about all of the things they had to do today. All of the places they had to go and how much time it took them. I typically do not do this for one simple reason... I am a volunteer. I do not do it for the notoriety. I do it because I care about people, I am passionate about causes, and most often, the things I volunteer for enrich my life more than just sitting on the sofa flipping channels (which trust me, I do plenty of!).

I imagine that if I walked into a crowded room and tossed a stone I would hit someone who has been touched by Cancer. Most of us have. If you have not, you are so very lucky and should cherish that - I envy you.

I have been touched by Cancer. I lost my mother to Cancer 8 years ago. I have watched 2 of her sisters fight the same form of Breast Cancer.

I have been touched by Cancer. I am a 5 year survivor of non HPV Cervical Cancer. Tomorrow I am having a suspicious lump examined.

I have been touched by Cancer. I have lost friends to Cancer - some younger than me. I have lost neighbors, and family, and acquaintances. I have watched children battle the disease and mothers leave their children when their battle was lost.

I Relay not because "they" don't have the time. I Relay because I want to have more time. More time here with my family and friends. I want my children's losses to end. To lose their grandmother before she got to spoil them isn't fair. Mantha was the light of my mothers eye's. Jadon was her dream (he was born 12 months and 9 days after she died).

I Relay because I want them to have more time. They have a 50% chance of carrying the same gene I carry. I don't ever want them to know how Cancer feels. I want a cure before there is ever a chance for them to have a diagnosis.

We need research to find a cure. Research costs money. Money isn't growing on the tree out back, so that means someone needs to raise it. THAT is why I Relay!

I live in a small town in a small county. A county of less than 14,000. A county that is number 1 in the Midwest for funds raised (per capita) for Relay For Life for 5 years. A county that has been in the top 5 in the nation for funds raised (per capita) for Relay For Life for 5 years. Next year our little county will have raised over 1 MILLION DOLLARS for Relay For Life. I would not miss that for the world!

Ok, so I do like to toot our horn a little... but remember that statement about doing something that enriches my life a little more than watching tv? Can you top knowing that you have been a a part of something that is not only amazing, but also helping the people you know and love survive a horrible disease?

THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHY I RELAY!

And I will be Relay'ing all night long on Friday! (so will my city pally Kim in case you wanted to know!!! THAT is the cherry on top of the whipped cream on top of the ice cream!)

MckBrunch Photo!

Tell me this doesn't look like the "it" spot to be! Look at all those smiling faces! Seriously, the smiles are not fake - that is how awesome everyone was!! Sadly there were a few people that missed the big picture...

Because I talk about her all the time, I feel I need to introduce everyone to my friend Jennifer aka MckMama - she is in the long skirt on the left side. Jennifer's beautiful sister Hilary is standing next to me in the red - I was so excited to have her recognize me in the sea of faces and get excited when I weeded through all the people to give her a hug!

If you if live in Minnesota, or get the chance to visit, you have to make a trip to the small town of Waconia (I guess when I lived in the cities it was a "town", now it is a small suburb) and dine at the Green Room. It was incredible.

Thank you again to all the lovely ladies who came together to spend an amazing (and beautiful weather) morning.

forty five

Its not really ironic that I have been experiencing a lot of 45 this weekend. In fact, for the most part 45 was planned for this weekend!

Throw a little irony in just for fun, and you have a wonderful weekend of 45!

Today was MckBrunch day! How amazing were the 45 women who I was lucky enough to spend 2 hours and 45 minutes with! (we were scheduled to be together from 10-1, but I left at 12:45 - not on purpose - I just followed my table mates out!).

Friday and Saturday I spent the majority of my time creating 45 bracelets. Orange bracelets to be exact. MckMama's favorite color for sure. For 45 ladies.

I arrived this morning - you guessed it - 45 minutes early. I spent the first 20 minutes driving around the town we were going to be dining in as it had changed immensely since the last time I had been there. The last 25 minutes I sat in my car waiting for another early bird to arrive. I couldn't be the first to arrive now could I?

I sat at a table with not 45, but rather 8 very sweet and kind women - women I had never even visited blogs of before (sans one who I visited once), but women I am excited to talk to again very soon! Two who are expecting their third and sixth babies within a week of each other, the beginning of next month.

There was a new Target to the small town we had brunch in, so I decided to wait out the arrival of Mantha from her dads wandering its aisles. For about 45 minutes (ha!) I shopped - casually - unrushed - and ever so often, I ran into two of those table mates I spent a wonderful morning with!

Can you guess how many minutes I waited for Mantha and her very lost father in the parking lot of Target? Yep. You guessed it!

45.

I did not however spend $45 at Target. I only spent $40...

To my table mates... Tina and Amy - I wish you much luck with healthy deliveries! You can bet I will be checking in on you! Jessica, I will be praying for a miracle to bless your family! I hope to hear wonderful news soon! Amy, while I didn't attend the same highschool had I known I would have met you - well, you know - we could have graduated together!), have a blast at your 20 year reunion!

Oh, speaking of almost graduating together... Jessica and I DID graduate from the same school in the city. She two years behind me - which means she graduated with my brother and Mantha's step mother. Amy and I would have been in the same class as we grew up not more than a mile from each other.

Amanda, I will be checking in on you more frequently, and hope to some day get to try one of those tasty cookies I missed at the MckPicnic! Your baby was ADORABLE!!!

Kerry and Yvette, while I didn't get to talk to you much, I am really glad that we all share a mutual friend in Jennifer (MckMama), and hope to get to know you both more in the future! Kerry thank you for making copies of the blog and email lists for all of us! That rocked!!!

To all the other ladies in attendance, thank you for the sweet compliments on the bracelets! I am glad you liked them, and hope you enjoy them!

Cami, thank you again for organizing a wonderful event!

45 thank you's to end my 45 post!

Watch this week for a photo of the gang! It was worth the wait!!!

What trouble looks like when it brews...

So remember a few weeks ago when I showed you what a storm looks like on the prairie? Well that was nothin!

Tonight while loading cars full of Relay T's because no one showed up to the meeting - could it be that they got the wrong date on the email that my friend sent? Um, possible...

Or maybe they knew THIS was coming (and we didn't)...

I took these pictures as I was driving home - with sirens, and lightening and bears (ok, not bears) oh my!

This was what I saw as I was pulling away from the building I was ignorantly hiding out in. This wasn't night approaching ladies and well, whoever actually comes here to read... This was clouds.

Like waves in the sky they were. it was a might bit freakish.


This is what had the nerve to head towards my little family at my little house on the prairie...


This was what I saw from the end of my driveway.

So that my friends is what a storm looks like on the prairie.

In case you wonder if I am still here or not, well, this "storm" was more bite than bark. We are still comfortably located in SW Minnesota and not in Kansas.

Or Maine... where it has rained non-stop for 3,972 days straight. ME and Hallie, I will take a few of these over THAT!

Pally, I promise that you will be residing in the safest room in the house when you come! I also promise not to invite any of these little disturbances while you are here!

Ba-Bye!

We are off tomorrow afternoon as soon as our town celebration and parade end for the day. Have happy and safe 4th's and we will see you in a week and a half!

BIG stuff happening in July!

My county's Relay For Life is set to break 1 MILLION DOLLARS this year. In case you are not aware, I live in a very small town - in a very small county of less than 14,000 people. So this milestone is huge for us. I am the Chair this year again, so I am rather stoked to have it on my watch! I am even more excited to have my Pally coming down to spend time with me and help me cheer on the 1 MILLION!!! I hope she is ready for a long all nighter! It will be so much fun!

MckBrunch is the Sunday before Relay and I am so excited! If you don't read me often, you may not know about my friend Jennifer from mycharmingkids and her miracle baby Stellan. Well in a few weeks a BUNCH and I mean BUNCH of us are converging on a restaurant in our State and having a what I can imagine to be amazing morning and afternoon sans kids and husbands - you will hear the buzz of chatter from wherever you are!

Our counties Fair is also in July, so every weekend is packed full!

We will "see" you soon, in the meantime, be safe, enjoy the holiday and PARTAY like rockstars!!!

This week in pictures

Its almost vacation time! I get so excited for this time of year, and usually come back and plaster thousands of pictures of our adventures. So to prepare you for the onslaught, here are a few of our pre-vacation antics...

I had an awesome video on my BlackBerry of my son and our cat Toby - the cat with anger management problems, but apparently I need to learn how to use my phone, as I saved it as a photo and not a video. I will share the blur and you can imagine the rest from there...

Toby has for some reason had a love hate relationship with Jadon for as long as he has ruled our roost with his evil black twin Ruvy. Toby will sit on the edge of the sofa and howl at Jadon as he walks by while swiping at him. It gets to be a fun game for the whole family. Had the video saved you would have seen Toby go all puss-tal on Jadon and shriek every time Jadon walked by.

First, as Jadon and I were cruising home from dinner on Sunday, he was jamming in the back seat and says to me "Mom, my finger is dancing now too. It has ears and can hear the music".

What per say were the "ears"? They were his finger nail which split down the middle and peeled on both directions. You can't tell it here, but it was his middle finger, and the "ears" were sticking out. It was cute, and funny, and disturbing all at the same time.

Last but not least, the remnants of the storm that hit fast, hard and eventually kicked out a funnel in a town not so far away on Tuesday afternoon.

Mantha and I were at the Golf Course meeting with the rest of my tournament committee when it went from sunny to black, green, freaky. This was as the storm was leaving - the back end of a wall cloud.

We need to get through our towns celebration before we leave, so I am wishing those days away... I know it will come soon enough, I just hope the weather is nicer next week!

The many faces of fathers

Today I received a phone call from someone that I never expected to hear from on Fathers Day. That phone call changed my mood, made me happy, made me proud, made me cry. That phone call made up for so many days when I wondered if he really did care. Today I found out how much.

But I will get back to him in a moment.

First I want to wish a Happy Fathers Day to the two most important men in my life:

The man that gave me life:

He may have chosen to go on a 6 week vacation to Alaska over having Brunch with his stunning daughter, but that doesn't change how much I love the man! Happy Fathers Day Dad!

The man that breaths life into me every day:

There may be some days when he acts more like our 6 year old than like a father to our 6 year old, but I still love him! Happy Fathers Day hon-e!

I want to wish a Happy Fathers Day to two men who brought me so much happiness and joy, but are no longer here with us:

The man that made my mothers last years her happiest:

Bruce was my step father for 12 years. He came into my mothers life at a time when she needed someone to love her for who she was, not for what she had been. Bruce did that. He took away the sadness that had surrounded her for many years, and brought smiles and laughter and joy and excitement. He made her last years her best years. Even though they married when I was 24, there was never a doubt in my mind that he would be a father to me.

The only man I ever got to call "grandpa":

Grandpa Lawrence swept me off my feet the first time he met me. Literally. I dont know who he thought I was the first time he saw me, but I will never forget that incredibly strong bear hug I received in place of a hand shake the night Jim took me to their campsite the first night I met him. Those hugs never ended. He called me his girlfriend, and he my boyfriend. He was the only man that I ever had the honor of calling "grandpa" and I will never forget him.

Now back to the phone call today.

I sent texts to all the men in my life, whether friends husbands, or family members, to wish them a Happy Fathers Day. One I had to send to my aunt because my uncle does not have his own cell phone.

Several hours later, while driving home from getting Mantha, my cell rang. When I answered it was Larry's voice on the other end of the line thanking me for my message. Then thanked me for alllowing him to be a father.

There was no thanks needed, not from him.

I was pregant my senior year of highschool. I was confused, in denial and hid the pregnancy from everyone - my parents, boyfriend, friends, everyone - until I was 7 months pregnant. Somehow my mother figured it out, even though I was spending the summer 1500 miles away. She had conversations with her sister who could not have children about the prospect of them adopting my baby.

When I came home from my summer away, I sat down with my aunt and uncle. I will never forget the tear and fear filled conversation. I remember their fears. It was not as easy as saying the word "yes". It was much more complicated than that. Even after they took custody of Alex, there was fear. Fear that I would spend too much time with her, that I was too close, and want her back.

I have wondered for years, now that their baby was grown, how he felt about me. I knew how my aunt felt. She tells me all the time. I know how Alex feels, I can see it and hear it in her voice when she spends time with Mantha and Jadon.

But until today, I did not know how Larry felt.

I may have given them something they couldn't have, but they gave me so much more. They gave me peace. Peace that my child would know love in a solid happy home. She has travelled the world, and never wanted for anything. She is getting a top notch college education, and is studying abroad. She is kind, and loving, and has morals that are not often seen in kids her age. That did not come from me. That came from them - her parents.

So today, as I wished Larry a Happy Fathers Day, I thanked him back. I thanked him for trusting me. I thanked him for allowing him to be the father my child needed and deserved.

Its been 21 years in the making, but on this Fathers Day, we finally know how much the other means.

I hope all the fathers in my life know how much they mean to me.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

He had a heart

That was bad. So 6 years ago, he got a new one. From a Donor. An anonymous person whose life had ended. A family who was willing to carry out the wishes of a loved one. A decision I cannot imagine was made lightly. A decision I cannot imagine would ever carry regret. For in one loss came anothers salvation.

I do not know this man, the recipient of one of the greatest gifts one can give. I have never met his daughter Hallie, but I know her. In the sense that all of us in this blogging world know each other.

This is Hallie's dad...

Today, I am sharing Hallie's fathers story through her letter because Hallie is raising awareness and is hosting a fundraiser for her father - and its Fathers Day this week, and my dad took a 6 week vacation to Alaska over brunch with his spectacular and stunning daughter (that would be me in case you got lost in translation), so I will spend time helping Hallie's dad!

This is Hallie...

She loves Prada. She would love Prada to be donated, but because she loves Prada so much, she knows full well that the Prada that was donated would get lost in the mail and would never make it onto the list of items for which to be raffled, therefore, I will NOT be donating Prada!

I will however send these two pieces of jewelry I made. That she chose. That may get "lost in the mail" but at least won't cause me the need to explain to my husband why I donated something that cost him three arms and two legs that met its unfortunate demise in the USPS solar system (aka Hallie's Prada shrine).

So please visit Hallie's Blog because she is hil-hairy-ass! Then visit Hallie's Dad's Fundraiser, and see what you can do to help her Dad enjoy even more Father's Day's and get yourself signed up to win something amazing (just don't expect Prada, I already told you, it got lost in the mail!)

Thanks in advance from Hallie and her Dad for taking the time to check our her fundraiser, and for that Prada bag that I just know you want to send to her!!!

wisconsin wildlife vs the baums

I tell ya, if it weren't so dang funny I would probably think there was someone behind the antics of the first 15 rural miles of our trip to Wisconsin.

First, out of thin air, a doe trots across the interstate - not in front of anyone else - but in front of the baum-mobile.

Not 5 miles later we all turn to look at the buffalo on the prairie to our right (picture Lori holding a box of crackers - not the type that opens at the top with a nice safety bag, but rather a box of Archer Farms crackers that has a large open tray... got that picture in your mind? good...)

SWACK!

A pheasant hits our windshield DEAD CENTER, and yes, I mean dead. Like dead. As in now on someone elses tires.

Remember that box of crackers?

ALL OVER the car.

Cuz Lori gets a little jumpy and she literally tossed her cookies crackers. Everywhere. As in EVERYWHERE.

The defrost when turned on shot up cracker crumbs.

When I do something I make sure I do it right the first time...

Then....

Mr. Squeaky of the Squeak family - you know the one, that cute little field mouse family that lives right over there? Yeah, well we are not the only ones attending a funeral tomorrow morning. Because Mr Notsqueakyanymore is now part of the pavement on that same interstate.

I wish I could have recorded Jim's exact words, facial expression and tone when he made the statement "I dont like Wisconsin any more". It made me laugh so hard I almost pee'd my pants. Which honestly would have gone unnoticed in the tornado that became the interior of my car!

My pally Kim D of the Kim Writes Kim D's thinks we have something against nature and the hunters of this western land. She also thought however that when I said the "wildlife around these parts was trying to kill us" meant the U of W students... I heard they were wild, but didn't think they were viloent. I guess we will double lock our doors tonight.

Oh dreary rain, please go away!

It has rained EVERY DAY since Thursday. Not that I am complaining - ok, yes I am...

We need the water, but its has been this heavy mist that persists and ruins your hair and makes you want to sleep all day. We got a tease - literally - 10 minutes of sun yesterday. Then promptly we went back to drear.

My mood is already south, so I need the sun to boost it back up again.

Pally, we may have a little one in tow Friday - I know you are ok with it - but wanted to warn you that he will probably be our date at lunch and a flick on Friday!

Spread your wings sweet girl and fly

I have started and stopped writing this post all day today. It is a hard post to write because it is so unjust.

Eternity is someplace far away. It is not supposed to be in the today, not in the now. Lately however, eternity, that peaceful place for most, seems to come sooner than it should.

Dear sweet Lauren Marcella passed away just after 4 this morning. She was not yet 3 years old.

On Thursday night Lauren spiked a fever of 107.5 (and as her parents said on her Caring Bridge site, this was not a typo - 107.5!) during a grand mal seizure that lasted over an hour and 45 minutes. It took many meds to find the right one to calm her tiny body. On Sunday she was starting to wake up and things were looking positive. Sunday afternoon it changed. Horribly. They airlifted Lauren from Wisconsin hospital to Children's in St. Paul (the same one my son was at two years ago) and a short twelve hours later she was gone.

Lauren was a miracle. She started her life struggling. She was born with a severe cord wrap that caused Cerebral Palsy and a Cortical Visual Impairment. But man was she a fighter! She was so beautiful - always smiling and giggling.

Laurens birth literally saved her mothers life. Knowing that a cord wrap was possible, Lauren's baby sister was born via C-Section. During that C-Section, ovarian cancer was discovered in her mother - at a stage that was curable - a cancer that could have gone unnoticed. A miracle.

Eternity should not be so close for a child who has barely touched this Earth, but she is fully healed and bouncing on the clouds with strong legs, bright eyes that can see the beauty and a body that no longer fights her.

Be at peace sweet girl.

Once there was a friend...

Now a foe?

This little guy made his home in my hanging basket last summer - around this time. Sadly, not much after this picture, his siblings joined him and they KILLED my flowers (there were 3 more just like this one).

So I took the baskets away.

And bye bye birdie.

BUT...

I think he is back. And he is mad. A mad pooper that is. Seriously, our deck, grill and house look like WWIII has hit with little white "bombs" every where!

So how fitting that last night I happened to open this picture and the kids ask "mom, is that the bird that is pooping every where?"

I do love the picture even if the little stinker has gone all swine flu on me!

Pally? This is just a snippet of what you will enjoy when you visit "St. Jim" next month!