Sunday, May 4, 2008

It just happened again...

Its Sunday night - 9:30. And I don't have any idea what happened to the weekend!

I know on Friday we didn't really do anything. Mantha came home sick from school, so she didn't go to her dad's until Saturday morning. Jadon and I were home on Friday as usual, and Jim got home early. It rained, and rained, and rained. We are sure we saw Noah - but then it could have been halucinations - you know, from the lack of sun.

We played a little "family" Mario Golf - but only after I needed to prove my superiority at something. Jadon is doing a bang up job of kicking my ass at all the other games, so I am sure he will kick it soon at golf too!

Saturday we took Mantha to her dad, stocked up on camper gear (yes ma'am, I'sa trailer trash!), and ate an expensive lunch at Olive Garden (Jadon's request - it was over $50 - for LUNCH!). If memory serves me correctly, "family nap time" started around 1, and I may have opened my eyes by 5:30. Can you say L.A.Z.Y???

Sunday we worked on the camper some more - we go for the first time this year next weekend. We are super anal at cleaning it in the spring - you never know what decided to call it home over the winter! In late afternoon we went to get Mantha - two of us not feeling well, only to find out she was still not feeling well either. So three of us have some sort of stomach bug. Not good.

This week I have a few big deals going on. I have a presentation tomorrow to one of my boards, a recommendation I am making to our County Commissioners on Tuesday and I am nervous. It could potentially mean thousands of dollars in advertising money, but I have to convince my board first. And there is one member for sure that is going to be a tough sell. It won't be that she wont get the point, but more that the moment I stand to make the presentation, she will tune me out, and only hear the negatives (or the little voices in her head). And then when I am done, she will vote no, only after ridiculing me and telling me I am went behind their back, and should have gotten their approval before even mentioning it to the Commissioners. Even though I am the President and Director. But then, she tells people she thinks I am "one of the Directors". Um, lady, you were on the hiring committee, you know e.x.a.c.t.l.y. what my role is.

I know it will happen. It has happened before. It will happen again. And it aint gonna be pretty.

Tuesday will be a breeze if I live through tomorrow! I think the Commissioners will like what I put together. I know our sister community will back me.

Wednesday I have to pack for the weekend, because on Thursday morning I leave for Mpls for my annual Oncology and Genetics appointment. We are talking the big "Double M" this year. The last time we had this conversation it was the "Big H". And it turned out that I had Cancer. So far things look good, but because I carry that bastard gene BRCA2, I have an 80+ percent chance of getting Breast Cancer, this conversation has to happen.

After the appointment I am having lunch with my dad. That will be tough. Until last fall I did not tell him I had Cancer 4 years ago. The only two people he knew that had Cancer died - his best friend, and his ex-wife. So to him, the disease still equals death. Nevertheless, he knows now, so there is no backing down, and he is my last remaining parental support, so I need to have him involved. Jim is ready for the decision to be made, but neither one of us are ready for the deed. I plan to tell my Oncologist that I need 3 more years. And then I will be ready. What better gift for your 40th birthday than new boobs and a flat stomach (I will have a fat flap rebuild, not implants).

Friday my aunt and I will go to MOA and pick up all of the Susan G. Komen gear for the annual Mothers Day walk. We don't do it in the city any longer. Since moms passing, we moved it to her home town - the town where my grandmother still lives. The town where the Catholic Church allowed us to place a window in her honor. We always end the walk in front of her window, and take a group photo. I will post them later. I know she would be proud.

Sometime on Thursday or Friday I will make my first trip to the cemetary since we buried Bruce. I went there the day of the wake - preparing myself for the sight of the open grave where my mother lay. Mom and Bruce are buried in the same spot. He on top of her. They are at Fort Snelling. If you have not been to a military cemetary, I recommend a visit. The beauty and honor of knowing that the men and women buried in that place all served our country. Many lost their lives doing so. When Jadon got sick the night of Bruces wake, I knew I would not find closure, because I wasn't able to attend the funeral. I still dont have it. So I need to go and see his name on the stone and acknowledge it. And say good bye there. And then praise their eternal life together.

Saturday we will pop back home for Mantha's dance recital. I feel bad for her, because this year, it snuck up on us, had little fan fare because it is not the same dance troupe, and is on a weekend that we have to chase long distances because of a list of commitments. I know she will be fabulous, and she will end this year looking forward to receiving her 5 year trophy next year.

Sunday we will do the 3.1 mile walk, take our annual photo, shed some tears, and finish out the day at gram's for a family brunch.

Today I was reminicing with Jim about last year. When we were making beds in the camper, I found the cover to the movie Cars. It was the cover to the movie that we borrowed from my step father Bruce last year because we forgot ours. I told him it will be hard to not have him there this year. Not two hours later as we were driving to get Mantha, I said to him "I wonder if Bruce will be there this weekend". I did it at Easter too. Loss is hard. Its been almost 7 years for mom, and it still isnt real to me. Its only been 6 months for Bruce. Its devastating. He was such a good person. And it was so unexpected. Death is so unfair.

Update on the prayers that were needed earlier this week: I do not have any more news about the MRSA. Instead I have even more disturbing news. She apparently had a suspicious looking ovary that was discovered at the time of C-section. It was not good news. She has stage 1 Ovarian Cancer, and has a long road ahead of her. Thank God it was found early. But there are alot of organs that have been touched, so a lot of surgery and treatment. If it weren't for a difficult birth two years ago that led to a C-Section this time, they may have never found this Cancer. Her new baby girl is only a week old, yet still, she has little time to enjoy her.

Please keep sending prayers. Thank you!

be-de-be, be-de-be, be-de-be thats all folks!
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