3,673,426

I am sure that is how many things I love about this town I live in. Everyday I find another reason, or another person that makes me love it even more.

Today I was invited into something so incredible that I could not wait to come home and tell you about it.

I chair the Relay For Life in my county. It is my passion. I live it, breathe it, have dreams and apsirations for it, and many times lose sleep and have nightmares about it.

Tonite, I don't even know that my words will adequately express my pride.

The head coach of our Boys Basketball program and the head coach of the team we were opposing tonight in regional playoffs made a little wager. They challenged each other to participate in something called Coaches vs Cancer. The goal was to raise the most money possible before the big game tonight. They had two weeks to raise it however they chose.

Our coach decided to take it to the kids. For two weeks if they brought a dollar to school they could purchase a paper basketball and write their name, or the name of someone they know or love that has had Cancer. My kids were always at my purse straps asking for "one more dollar". Of course how could I say no?

The basketball team also raised money with pledges for "hoops". I didn't get the details on this part yet, but trust me, when I do, I will be blubbering over that effort as well!

Earlier this week I was called by the coach, asking if I would be available to receive a "fake check" representing the money that was raised during the two week event. This morning the coach told me that he was sure the fundraising was much more than I would imagine, but he didn't want to spoil the suprise, so he said, "just be ready to have your socks knocked off".

He should have told me to wear waterproof mascara.

In a school district with nary more than 800 students, the check that represented the money raised bore this number: 4,209.

$4,209.

$4,209.

$4,209.

I can't stop saying it. I can't believe my eyes when I read it. KIDS raised $4,209 in TWO WEEKS. For Cancer research!

$4,209.

I am in awe. The turn out of parents and students that came to the game, just so they could see the final number and stand up for Cancer at the game was inspiring. The place was so loud that my soft little voice (yeah right), could barely be heard over the crowd. And they thanked ME for what I do for Relay. I had nothing to do with this fundraiser, but they thanked ME. How selfless is that?

One of the principals and I talked after the presentation and I shared with him that while the American Cancer Society was allowing us this year to credit that money towards our Relay, next year Coaches vs. Cancer would be its own entity. He was so sure that the kids and coaches would not stand for it, and would instead do something similar to this year under an assumed name, because they want the money to go towards our event.

I mean, come on! Can it get any better than this?

I am so proud, and so amazed, and humbled and honored by my wonderfully amazing little town - out here in the middle of the prairie.

$4,209.

$4,209!!!!

Way to go kids of my small town!!!!!!

Oh, in case you were wondering? We won the game! And the school our coach challenged? They raised a little over 10% of what our kids did, but that in and of itself was incredible!

Every dollar means more than they will ever be able to comprehend. It is one dollar closer to a cure. One dollar more that is used to supplement treatments, provide transportation, lend support, share resources, and kick Cancers butt!

Not Me! Monday?

It's Monday again... the blog carnival is always on at ring leader MckMama's place!

Just because I did not participate these past few weeks, that does not mean there hasn't been anything I did not do. It just means I did not tell you about it.

First off, I must admit, I did not spend a lot of time blogging these past few weeks. Not because I had nothing to say, because anyone who knows me knows that I have ALOT to say - usually about nothing.

I did not sleep much last week. I do not know if it was because I am very stressed over budget cuts at my office, or if it is stress over the economy, or if it is stress over my husbands increasing lack of work, or if it is ... who cares, its all money related.

Or is it?

Could it be that I found myself getting sucked in my the evil black box in my family room?

I did not breathe several sighs of relief when we made it through last week without the bank calling us and telling us to take our money (BWA!) and go elsewhere (ha! Ha! HA!). If you didn't see the joke, and need further explanation, the word "money" and the word "our" are almost never used in the same sentence when I describe "us" - at least not recently.

I did not over zealously thank the lovely lady at the hospital who said she would do "what she could" to help us pay down the remaining 5 grand we owe. Of course she will help, she has reviewed our history there - they are getting paid 10's of thousands of dollars each year by my insurance company for countless procedures and kidney surgery's and various other anomalies that come with arthritis and Fibromyalgia (like the knee that isn't functioning properly without massive doses of pain these days - might be that fall from, you know, in the post office where I also procured three broken ribs and a mighty fine lecture about not suing).

I did not wear 3 1/2" heels the day we had Career Fair at the high school. Not only did I not wear them, but I certainly did not put on the pair that was a little too small. I did not do it because I am very much aware that I have a pain disorder, and would be on my painful little tootsies alldaylongwithoutsitting.

But in my absolute stupidity defense, have you seen how tall they grow high school kids these days? I look like a 3rd grader compared to these giants. Apparently the girls have forgotten what lunch was. And dinner. And breakfast. I never knew giants could wear size 5T's.

And for the record... I do not understand the whole wearing flannel pj bottoms, 5 layers of various t's, tanks, sweatshirts, and slippers to school thing. I must be getting old fashioned. (getting? can you get old fashioned? sounds like an illness).

I do not have so much to do today. So much that I am wanting to crawl back into (I suppose I should crawl out of before I make this statement) bed and hide. For oh.... 4 weeks or so.

I do not understand why my husband does not want to find a way to make today work out for him. You know, go to work, crash at my aunts or brothers, and actually WORK this week. They have several uncovered loads in the cities for him, but nothing coming back home. He gets all pissy when his paycheck comes, and he is on partial lay off, but since work called and said "if you can find a place to crash, we can keep you busy all day". Apparently this making money so we can eat thing is also getting old fashioned.

I do not believe that people do not see the truth behind Caylee Anthony's grandfathers attempted suicide. Um, hello? He knew she was missing but never reported it? I think this whole family needs to be sent to exile island.

I did not just look at the clock and see it is waaaaay more after 8 than I thought.

I digress.

For your benefit

We will bring more people to work in your honor than there are duties or a need for.

We will serve wonderful food, all donated, and so much that we could feed yet another army.

We will dance for you. We will perform for you.

We will make you laugh and forget why you are here in the first place.

We will bring all of your friends - even those you don't know together, in one place to honor you.

We will give you hugs, and just before we release you, we will give you more.

We will collect. Things, and funds and stories and joy and memories for you to open when you need them.

We will remind you why you chose to come back after the one you lost moved on.

We will be here when his loss haunts you, and his memories start to fade.

We will never let you forget what he meant to us, and what you mean to us.

For your benefit we will be all you need, and more than you could ever want.

Updated: The benefit I am speak of we organized this past Sunday for my former boss's family. He passed away last month suddenly from complications relating to Guillain-Barré syndrome. Our community is very caring, and the turnout, and the love and support still brings tears to my eyes.

Happy 4th of July kids - I mean last day of school

Its official. Thank you Mother Nature. You have now sealed my childrens fate. They will now be in school until July.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

If you watch the news at all, then you will have noticed that my state (and the ones huddled up against it) has been shivering under a blanket of snow and extreme temperatures.

The temp today? -30
The windchill today? -45

School today? CLOSED

Let me back it up a few days...

Monday: CLOSED - Snow, wind, blizzard conditions, extreme cold
Tuesday: 2 hours late - Snow, wind, extreme cold
Wednesday: 2 hours late - wind, extreme cold
Thursday: CLOSED - there are no words for how cold it is
Friday is almost guaranteed to be either late or closed - however it is supposed to "warm up" to zero I believe...

One week of messed up days wouldn't normally affect the end of the year, but this is not even the beginning of late and cancelled school days.

The week before Christmas for instance... Monday they were two hours late because of snow. Friday they were two hours late because of wind and snow. The week before that, and so on and so on, they have missed adnauseum at minimum 2 hours a week since Thanksgiving.

Its only January. We are not even in our snowiest month here on the prairie. March guarantees at least 3-5 days of late/no school.

So if I add it up, and believe me when I say I have already lost track, I forsee us sending our little snow balls to school much into June (our last scheduled day of school is May 29).

The pile of snow in my front yard next to my driveway? It is already well over 8-10' high. Mostly from piling up what fell on our driveway, as well as drifting (we probably only have 12-15" on the ground). That little mountain will probably be there until the 4th of July too.

Mother Nature and your cold bitter friend Old Man Winter... Bite me. I have had it with both of you. I have always defended you, always stood proud against your snowy abominations, singing your praises of hot flash relief, but this is going a little overboard dontchathink?

It is only January 15th, you have three more months to mess with us - can you give us a little break every now and then?

O-pinionated!

Im at home today (hey, I haven't done my not me's yet...) watching The View, and once again listening to Ann Coulter share her opinion.

Does the woman ever hear the "other side"? Her "opinion" be it may, is just that. It may be fact based, it may not, but she cannot shut her mouth long enough to see what she is selling her book as - "seeing the other side of the story".

She is like a train wreck I cannot look away from, even though her interviews never get anywhere because she is like a cat stalking its prey... prowling, stalking, pouncing, biting. Then growling all the while her victims try to cry out to be heard.

Dear Ann,

Less coffe. More sleep. Maybe take a pill.

Do something to make us love you the way you love yourself.

Maybe some of what you have to say has merit, but your attitude kinda sucks a little.

Just sayin'.

Sincerely, me

OY!

Bad kharma Friday...

Today has been riddled with the dumbest of goofy things that seem to be all some way of kharma, or something telling me I should have stayed in bed. I just have to laugh.

I didn't sleep a wink last night. And then awoke before the crack of my ass. I was foolish enough to think that I would be able to fall back to sleep after the kids went to school, but discovered my husband was home again from work which means pajama Friday is out of the question. Darn it anyway!

I let the dog out this morning and he broke his leash. Not that I noticed however until I opened the door and the little fella was no where to be found. Luckily for me, it snowed last night, is bitterly cold, and food comes only from our house. So shortly thereafter he returned.

When the snowplow went by this morning they once again decapatated our mail box. It has become an everytime we get snow thing. This is the 2nd time in just the past 3 weeks.

While trying in my ever ongoing attempt to teach Dash to "lay down", I absent mindedly left the sink in my bathroom running - thinking, hey, I will let the water run while I let the dog in so its nice and hot when I get back upstairs. Only someone over dyed my roots a few weeks back, and I forgot the sink was running. I returned to the bathroom to find my socks now wet as I walk into the room (I abhor wet socks) and my clothes and everything else on my counter (read: hairdryer, curling iron, roller dryer) soaking wet; water spilling over the edge.

I got the fumbles all straightened out and things were starting to look up for the rest of my afternoon. We ran some much needed errands. I stopped into my office to be greeted by a pleasant assistant who had nothing but good news to talk about. Jim and I returned the chairs from the club that we borrowed from my office (oh, like a month ago), and the two of us had a wonderful lunch together.

When we got home I hooked up the newly purchased leash (which I opened in the car for some reason and found it was covered in the most obnoxiously smelling oil) and grabbed the mail that was shoved in between the front door. As I was skipping down the sidewalk I found one of those patches of hidden ice and went down on my rear (or I should say knee - the same one that is still sore from the post office incident from a month ago).

All and all, it hasn't been a bad day despite all of my mishaps.

But oh how I don't love bad kharma Fridays!

Lend me an Ear

I was honored last night with an award that is really cool. Cool because Barbara from Writing From The Inside Out gave it to me, and cool because it is Van Gogh's ear. His art intrigues me. His life was tragic, yet interesting.

Its kind of hairy and not too pretty, but the message and purpose is cool!

Here is the story behind the award:

This is the Van Gogh's Ear Award as created by Roger of Idaho Photo.

This is what he wrote about the Van Gogh's Ear Award:"Every year I like to make up a award and hand it out to people that make a difference in the blogsphere. I like to make it an award for all to enjoy and pass out if one so wants to, I just ask if your going to give it out to link back to me as the creator of the Van Gogh's Ear Award.

"Inspiration of the Van Gogh's Ear Award":

You may know the story of Vincent Van Gogh a well known artist in history. Although a brilliant painter in his later years went quite insane he received the nickname of fou roux ("the redheaded madman"). The most bazaar of Vincent's behavior is when he cut off the lower part of his own left ear lobe, which he wrapped in newspaper and gave to a prostitute named Rachel in the local brothel, asking her to "keep this object carefully". After this he suffered recurrent bouts of mental illness, which led to his suicide July 29, 1890 he was 37 years old. His works of art are priceless. "The point of this award" We are all artist in are own way be it art, photography, writing, philosophy, comedy, blogging and we all go a little crazy sometimes.

I can choose to pass it on. I was thinking about who... And then it hit me:

Art: Hilary at "a look into our lives" (ok, not because she is an artist per sey, but if you read todays entry, you will see that she can find art in the simplist things... even in wedgies)

Photography: Heidi at "minnesota mom" (she is a photographer, a great mom, and an inspiration!)

Writing: Andrew at "andrewscottturner" (he is a writer, and at times can be found shamelessly plugging his published and soon to be books - he is worth the read). Fad at "for a different kind of girl" and Miz Picket at "post picket fence" (both are former writers by trade, and both are incredibly talented - neither likes awards, but I want you to check them out, so I like to stick them in these awards whenever possible!)

Comedy: Bitchy's mom at "I need a martini mom" (you have to read her kindergarten antics, and all about teenage angst - you will leave her site in tears!)

Blogging: Mary Ellen at "adopting m.e." (she is new to blogging, so she deserves to hear what a great job she is doing! She has had some major turns of events in her life in just the past few days so check her out, and say hi!)

Crazy: my Pally Kim at "lifeafter" (she isn't crazy, but because she insists she is, well, we just let her believe it - shhhh, don't tell her she isn't, she may get a complex!)

Notice that I skipped philosophy? Well I wasn't feeling that one, so I skipped it.

Thanks again Barbara!

Money

Its the root of all things I hate.

Fear.

Depression.

Stress.

Anxiety.

Want.

Need.

Being broke sucks - as I am sure many of you will agree. It doesn't help that two weeks in a row, over the holidays no less, Jim's office messed up his paperwork and missed an entire days worth of pay. At the HOLIDAYS!! I said it again to remind myself why I hate that company - because I promise you they don't care one lick that they are making us suffer.

As the holidays roll away, in came all sorts of fears. It was so much easier when the pretty and the joy covered the bitter nasty truth of it all. The rush of blood to your head when you open your bank statement; read your account online; get messages from your bank account that your balance is below your alert level (I have a love/hate relationship with this feature); open bills that need to get paid; get letters from hospitals stating "your bill is now due".

Fears that things are not going to get better. Not in the big picture, not in our little picture. Friends are panicking. Friends who have never had the need to panic. Friends who have always had room to grow are now feeling sqeezed by the same belt we are.

I have found myself to be angry and jealous. Angry that we have lived a life of spend as we earn, buy what we want, and not think ahead and prepare and plan. Jealous that over the past several weeks I spent time with many family members who have not spent what they earned, and saved for times like these. People who are doing well. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that they are ok. I am so happy that this downturn in times has not affected those I love in the same ways they have affected us. I so wish we would take cue's from them and learn from our mistakes.

But when we will catch up enough to be able to do so. That is the question.

Money. I hate it. I hate what it does to me. I hate what it does to others around me.

Not Me! Monday

It may seem annoying that I bore you on Mondays with things that I didn't (or really did) last week - but you know what? Since this blog is all about me, well, I will continue to make you read unneccesary things because it makes me feel better. And I can't afford my therapist!

Bwa....

Hahahahaha...

Lets just say, since I did not do this last week, I probably have more than the usual dose of things that may have been inappropriate, or unbelievable, or insignificant (for you) - but to keep it less boring (again, for you), I will limit my bad-mommy-ness to just a few.

First off, lets just say that as a parent, I probably did not recieve any awards over the past two weeks.

I did not over sleep, under sleep, stay up too late, go to bed too early, or any combination of the above in the past 5 days. I did not allow my 6 y/o son to follow my lead and stay up until almost midnight every single cotton picken day, then to not admit that it would make last night really hard, and this morning even harder! I'm much smarter than that.

We did not eat out every day the entire time we were at my grandmothers. She is a wonderful cook, so we would not do that. We also did not manage to pay for more than two of those meals because my family has a tendancy to enter a restaurant telling whomever they can grab first to hand them the bill. My poor grandmother who tried so hard to pay for something wasn't allowed the chance. Its like a big game - a game she started many moons ago - most likely thinking we weren't catching on. I think it was the first time in years we were able to keep her from paying - especially when we ate no less than 6 meals out. (Cricket - thank you for lunch on Saturday!)

I did not get a darn thing done this weekend work wise - which I desperately needed to. I did not have internet for 5 days at grams, but I still could have gotten the majority of the work done. Now I will be slammed this week.

I did not catch a bazillion reflections of myself this past two weeks and want to throw my lower body into a woodchipper to chisel away about 5,000 inches off my butt, thighs and cankles. I realized however that it would most likely hurt, and realized that the only way to correct it would be to walk/exercise it off. But the thought of that made me tired, so I decided to work on it later. Well, sooner than later, but soon'ish.

I did not want to Lysol myself and my family when I heard that my uncle got the stomach flu on NYE. I then did not want to Lysol his wife when she arrived to be sure that there wasn't anything entering the house we were all dining/celebrating at. I did not say to her more than once that "she would have it tomorrow" only to hear she already had "the other flu" and wouldnt get this one, only to come down with it two days later.

Before I go on, I must tell you that the following statements are being said not out of disdain or dislike for the person I had issue with. She is a wonderful person who I love to death. But she really nailed me hard on NYE with her opinion, and we all know that I am opinionated... so onward and upward... (or south if I don't mind my p's and q's)

I did not bite my tongue and kick myself in the shin when she said it was because they got a flu shot (actually I believe her exact words were "You ALWAYS get the flu from the flu shot"). I did want to say that you dont get the stomach flu from the flu shot. Two different things. Two different things. But I kept my mouth shut.

I did not finally say my peace however when once again I was told that I need to quit drinking bottled water when its no different from tap water. I spoke my peace, and then I stomped out of the room, screamed a little, and came back to hear the rest of her converstion with everyone else at the table about how horrible it is that I drink bottled water. I finally told her that I DO NOT HAVE A BRITTA, NOR DO I PLAN TO GET ONE. It did not shut her up, but it made me feel better.

I did not almost through the Dried Beef Bage Dip (want the recipe) at her when she asked if I used reduced fat sour cream and reduced fat mayo in it. Of course I did not. And I would never do that (throw the dip) because despite the fact that she loves to share her opinion, and despite the fact that I am never right, I do love her to death and would never wish or induce harm on her. I just need to reiterate that before you read on... I do not like the taste of either. I was told again, that they taste the same. I do not agree. So I will not be using them any time soon. I may be fat, but I have low blood pressure and low cholesterol so I do not plan on sacraficing taste anytime soon.

I apparently have a lot of negative things to share today... Sorry!

I did not wonder more than 3,895,364 times this weekend if there is a switch that is flipped when we become grandmothers that instantly changes us from normal people (well, "normal" is a loosly used term, but you know what I mean) into food obsessed, plans obsessed, "can I get you anything to eat?" "what would you like to drink?" little old ladies. I swear EVERY 5 MINUTES for 5 days (two weeks in a row) my grandmother asked those exact questions. That and "what is so and so doing today", "what would you like to do", and my personal favorite: "oh, come on now" when you answered "nothing" to any of the above. I cannot tell you how many times in my 37 years I have told her that I: do not drink coffee, am allergic to nuts, do not like breakfast, and am not hungry or thirsty thankyouverymuch.

I did not just write an almost entire parenthetical paragraph.

I did not want to ring a certain someone's neck this morning when she totally dismissed a brochure I had asked her to proof read last week, and then tried to pass off her own, outdated, very poorly planned, very poorly laid out brochure off to the organizer of a race we are doing using "he wanted it emailed" as an excuse when he was STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.

UGH! I need a new job!

Anyone hiring?

There is so much I could share, but you are bored and I need to get a crap load of work done!

HAPPY MONDAY!