That is the question I ask myself today as I sit behind the desk of my thankless NFP job (I have two other NFP jobs that are done behind this desk, but the one that pays me is the one I am ready to run away from).
I love(d) my job with passion and feverence. Until probably last month. Now it is a thorn in my already painful side. It has become a battle ground of sorts.
- There is the ever so recently frequent jabs from the Board Member who doesn't realize that while I do not get paid for a large portion of the hours I work because they insist that I keep something unncessary in my budget (something that most of my members don't want in my budget - but you know, they are just the people that matter!) that prevents this wonderous thing called a full time salary from happening - even though you expect me to put in full time hours.
- There is the grant I wrote that used up about 3,754 hours of unpaid time away from my family that consequentially WON AN AWARD for my community (thank you very much - now back off!) that carries a small cash bonus for which there is 1 group out of the 20 organizations I talked about that is insisting that they should get the money because they are the reason we won the award... Um, ok. I don't think that you single handedly made this community a wonderful place to live and breathe - what about the other 4,795 people who live here, and what about those other 19 organizations. Besides, your group just started, so tell me how you got us to where we are today? Just sayin.
- There is the lack of benny's which is eating away at me because of my recent health issues, and because my husbands line of work rely's on the oil market - for which he was most recently about $ .25 (diesel prices) away from not having a job - hence no insurance.
There are so many things about all three jobs that I love, that reward me tenfold, and make me extremely proud of my accomplishments. But the one that pays me is wearing me down. And in the economy we are living in, I don't see a lot of stability in it any longer. I already have members saying they may have to drop out next year because of cost cutting.
So it is rewarding enough to stay? Or is it breaking my spirit and giving me reasons to finally say "uncle"? That is the question I ask myself today as I sit behind the desk of one of my thankless NFP jobs...
My last stretch of fulltime employment was in the NFP realm. The last year or so I worked there was a nightmare. I would come home every night in tears, I would go there and be a zombie because I grown to hate a job I once loved so dearly, and every morning involved a series of pep talks just to get me out the door and in the car, where I spent 30 minutes alternately bitching to myself and psyching myself up for the unknown when I'd get there. Long story short, I've dealt situations similar to what you're presently going through and it can be soul crushing. Now, granted, my out was the result of a series of layoffs the company made, but still, I was working out a departure plan before they gave me one. If it's gotten to where you don't think you can do this anymore, it's time to definitely make your pros and cons list. I know this is a sucky time in life to do it, what with the world as it is, but sometimes the greater good starts with us, and life is too damn short to do the things that kill a piece of us every day.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely a whole different set of expectations in the non-profit world - 1st, its a privilege to work for the grand cause 2nd, not only work for low pay and many uncompensated hours, GIVE THEM SOME MONEY BACK and last 3) the money/mood/priorities on any given day change based on which large donor or potential donor is being wooed. I can never get my head around it.
ReplyDeleteAnd chronic pain? IS there another CHRONIC pain person out there? Somewhere, in the dark and secret world of 'its all in your head" pain. I am so sorry, but admit that I hope to not be alone. If you are a chronic pain patient, my sympathies - sister.
Good work on the sunflower issue - It makes sense and supports everything about plant growth - these fields are just not shaded at all ever and we haven't had signficant clouds in days
ReplyDeleteAnyway - sorry about the Fibro - that's tough! I have RSD from an injury - but is as mysterious and frustrating to docs as Fibro - But pain is pain, whether its "in your head' or in your foot or in your kidney - so sorry.
This is just my opinion, but if what you are doing is breaking your spirit, than it can't be too rewarding...at least self-rewarding. I guess it's ultimately up to you about how much you can take. Tough choice. :( I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteBugger! I left a big ol' comment and it's gone forever. Anyway, my worst job ever was for an NFP. I dreaded going every day. After that experience, I moved here and found a job I enjoy and a side job (photography) that I love. And I can't imagine giving anyone advice but this: when you have to do something for 40+ hours per week, you should LOVE it. Or at least like it. Hope the Lord helps you decide what to do!
ReplyDeleteOOOOH! I hear you on this one... But sadly, I don't have the answer.
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