S!F!D! How do you tell him you lied? How do you explain to a 5 year old that he needs to have this done, and that it isnt just today, but every week for the next year?????? Because I fear he will pack his Thomas suitcase and split town at any moment now!
I have tried the following:
- Me: "If we don't do this, they will make us go back to the hospital" - J: "I dont care!"
- Me: "We have to make sure you are getting better" - J: "I am better"
- Me: "I will take you to McDonalds" - J: "I dont want McDonalds"
- Me: "You can pick out a new Thomas Train" -J: "Ok" ... and then with a little more thought "I dont want another Thomas Train"
- Me: "What do you want to pick out?" -J: "I don't want anything, I just don't want to go to the Doctor"
NOW WHAT??? I have used the two good old stand by's/never fails...
Did I tell you what he has been telling people? Apparently his "magic naps" were not so magic. He remembers getting poked in the butt (really his hip, but this is how he tells it). He has told several people that when he took his first "magic nap" he felt them poke him in the butt twice (which they did!). Then he told my aunt and a few others that when he took his second "magic nap" he watched them take the string out of his mouth. BOTH times, he was completely asleep - I know this because I was there before and after! They did not tube him because of the risk of bleeding, but he was as under as one can be without being tubed. I have heard of the phenomenon of people not "completely under", but my 5 YEAR OLD??? Holy crap! I know we talked a little about the procedures in front of him, but he was usually distracted, and never once did we talk about the Bone Marrow Biopsy process in front of him, including when, where and how often. So he has to be remembering it.
So now I am back to... what do I do now? I have to make him go. But I know I am going to be hauling a kicking and screaming child into the place that is no longer safe to him. And it is the same place where he had his sore removed, so I am sure that will factor into it.
UGH!!! I will take any advice!
Hey Lori,
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog. Always a pleasure to meet a fellow Minnesotan! I'll be back to read more of your posts later... :)
Lori -
ReplyDeleteMy daughter Emily has had more pokes in her 12 years than any ten normal adults - blood draws, injections, sub-cu infusions, port accesses, blood sugar checks, IVs,... We have a couple of coping mechanisms that we started when she was small, probably four or five years old. First, we realized that money talks and chocolate sings. Em "earned" a dollar for every poke - the rate went up if it was a particularly awful one or if they "missed" and had to redo. The rule was she could be as loud as she wanted (yell, scream, cry, yodel, whatever) as long as she was still and cooperative to get her dollar. If she was cooperative AND quiet, she also got a candy treat. I kept a stash of special treats reserved only for these occasions and had it in hand where she could see it but only gave it to her if she earned it. We also found a way to give her some "control" over the situation. She would sing the alphabet song and on E (her initial) the needle would go in. That way she knew what to expect and when, and felt like she had some say over what happened. Letting her watch and promising not to "surprise" her helped her trust the medical people helping her. The really hard part was the days when nothing worked, and it took me and two nurses to contain all the flailing limbs and get the job done (I would sob in my room after she went to bed afterwards). But as she learned that no matter what, we were going to do what needed to be done for her health, and that when she was uncooperative there were not only no dollars or candy but also no visits to the Child Life prize drawer or sticker stash, no fun outings after the appointments, nothing - and she still had to have the poke besides, those episodes became fewer and farther between. It was a particularly difficult and painful form of tough love, but it was the only thing we could do. Now she has a very healthy savings account and learned to take the medical stuff in stride as a necessary evil. My heart truly goes out to you and to Jadon - I have been on both sides (for several years as a child I had chest xrays and penicillin shots on a weekly basis and had to do breathing treatments daily) so I understand how much it really does suck as the patient and as the parent. I hope it gets better soon.
Karen thank you so much for the tips! I will use them often! He finally had a "poke" on Wednesday and did well, but knows its coming again next week.
ReplyDeleteNext year at this time will be a blessing!
Wow...that sucks...I don't blame him. I hadn't realized he needed to go every week for the next year now. Man...poor guy.
ReplyDelete